Selfishness (3)

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Camila Cabello's Point Of View

You know when you feel your heart soften and turn to mush? That's how I feel right now watching my parents. They seem to be having fun as they cook dinner. I'm happy to see that nothing has changed between them even after so many years, their mutual love still seems the same. Their relationship has always been my inspiration, ever since I was a little girl I wanted to have a marriage as happy as my parents'.

Is my marriage to Lauren like this? Or does it at least come close to it?

I can't believe I'm thinking about this, but I'm curious. I really doubt that I'd have married this woman and spent so many years by her side because of convenience or just because of the child we have. Our marriage must have been at least happy.

It surprises me that I have spent so much time with her without asking for a divorce.

I return to reality and wake up from my reveries when I feel a tug on my shirt, followed by an adorable voice. My eyes land on that little boy, handsome with his green eyes and broad smile. It's amazing how he has my traits and hers as well, it's kind of scary. And I have no idea how this is possible.

"Hi, little guy." I smile at him, not even caring about his weight when I pick him up. Louis seems to love that, clinging to my neck with a strong, cozy embrace.

"Look, mommy. I smell good." He says as he pulls back, tilting his head to the side so that I can inhale the scent on his neck.

When I inhale that aroma, it's as if I'm experiencing some kind of déjà vu. I remember this scent very well, it smells like the perfume I used to wear when I was younger. It was always my favorite.

"Mmmm... You smell really good."

"I'm wearing your favorite perfume, mama bought it and gave it to me."

I knew I recognized that scent.

I raise my eyebrows in surprise at the fact that Lauren knew that, but it was to be expected. After all, we've been together for a long time, coexistence makes us get to know each other, right? I believe she knows and remembers a lot. I envy her memory, I would like to have mine too. It's sad.

"Your mama is awesome." I say to him; my smile as bright as the sun.

I feel as if someone is staring at me and I look around, coming across Lauren leaning against the wall, watching us. Her hair is damp and tossed back, in a wild way. A freshly-showered scent fills the environment. She has a broad smile on her lips, she seems very happy to see me interacting with our son.

It's very weird to think that I'm married and have a child. I still feel as if I'm still sixteen. All of this is surreal. It will take time for me to adjust.

I look away from her and turn my attention back to Louis. He's so excited and won't stop talking about his day at school. He also said that he's very excited for Christmas. I pay attention to everything he says, with my heart racing in my chest. This feeling of loving him is so good, it hasn't changed at all even with my lack of memory. I'll follow Dr. Charlie's advice and try to live my life as normally as possible.

Who knows, maybe this way my memory will decide to come back?

Lauren decided to join my parents in the kitchen and help them with dinner. When she walked by us, she deposited a kiss on our son's forehead and then moved away. And I just stood there with Louis.

The rest of the night went by so naturally, nothing seemed out of place, and realizing that was as strange as waking up naked next to the idiot in that fateful morning. Whoever looked at our interactions from the outside, would confirm that we are a big and happy family.

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