Goodbye to goodbyes

I heard you

I've never been this cold and so away from people;  hard on myself But sometimes the damage is so huge that a drink won't do much to help forget neither would a single cigarette because sometimes, the pain is worth another one of those.

There's a voice that calls me every time I lay my head on the pillow, the voice of a beloved, calling me towards it but there are oceans between us and reaching them is never possible. I spend each night plotting plans and I wake up every morning as a failure to a failure because I want them, I always will but destiny is only separation.

So each night, cold winds blow as if a miracle is to happen, drying away my sweat as I wait for life to change but nothing does.
What wouldn't I give to reach them? what wouldn't I do? I would swim a thousand oceans and walk a million roads but would that be enough?
I made myself tea to help the headache go but forgot to drink it once again. Opportunities to be fine and each one I miss like that cup of tea and tonight, there's not one to chase, not one to take.

A voice says my name and willingly I would, but never can I answer.