Gravestones (bxbxb) [polyamory/polyfidelity]

Chapter Eight

After spending about a month with the two bumbling buffoons, I have to admit that my feelings about them have changed. My chest feels all warm and fuzzy whenever they're around me, and I get upset if they leave me for too long. And their touch, god it felt electric. I began questioning if I could keep sleeping with them at night, but the idea of not waking up next to the them broke my heart.

I knew it wasn't normal to feel like this around your friends. It sounded like I had the symptoms of the crushes that Ray used to describe to me all the time. But that's impossible because I'm straight. I've only ever looked at girls in such a way, so it's probably not a crush at all, right?

Maybe I should consult her on the situation.

Unsure of whether or not I am allowed to leave the mansion, I ask Fred since Father rarely ever let me leave our house without permission. He wasn't hard to find in the morning since he always cooked breakfast with Carey. However, his wife did more cooking than him, which was probably better for the rest of us.

"Uh, Fred, can I ask you a question?" I questioned nervously as I took a seat at the kitchen island.

He smiled gently when he turned to look back at me, nodding his head. "Sure thing, son, ask away."

"I was wondering if I could go out to the graveyard today..."

I could tell that he thought it was a weird response, but I couldn't specify that it was my sister's grave that I wanted to go to. The questions that came along with that were ones I was ready to answer yet.

"Well, sure, just take Dan and Leo too."

I shook my head immediately, sensing that he might say that. I didn't want them to know that I had a twin who passed away or for them to hear the questions I was going to ask her.

"Fred, I would really like to go alone."

This made him much more wary of saying yes, but he nodded nonetheless. I guessed that Carey helped encourage him since he looked to his wife before saying yes to me.

"After breakfast, you can go. Our chauffeur, Carson, will take you."

I nodded eagerly, smiling quite a bit. If I couldn't go see my sister anymore, I would've told Father to pull off the whole contract now that I knew he could do that. I would be sad about seeing Leo and Dan less, but Rachel is more important to me.

"Where are those two anyways?" Fred asked as he put a plate in front of me.

I shrug, about to say that they were still sleeping before they both walked in on cue. They took the two seats next to me, Leo putting his arm around my waist. I couldn't help but blush as I shoveled eggs into my mouth to distract myself.

Mmm, these eggs are so fluffy. Yup, just thinking about eggs and not Leo's arm. I love eggs...

"Are you okay? You're eating quite fast, I don't want you to get hiccups." The caring tone of voice which Dan used made me want to melt into puddle.

"Yes, I-I just um I have somewhere to uh be after breakfast," I stammered, continuing to practically inhale my food. I needed to consult Ray before I imploded.

Thankfully, Dan simply nodded in response. I was thoroughly surprised that neither asked where I was going, but I took my wins wherever I could get them. I finished breakfast quickly, placing the my plate in the sink before going to find the chauffeur, which wasn't particularly hard. He gladly took me where I wanted to go and even left me alone when I asked.

My knees slowly hit the soft ground that covered her coffin as soon as he was gone. I made sure not to let any tears loose just in case. The gravestone always felt exactly the same every time I traced her name; it was almost like a ritual.

"So I kinda gotta problem, Ray...I didn't know who else I could go to. The two people closest to me right now are creating the problem, and you know dad would just never understand. Anyways, I uh...I think I have a crush, Ray. Well two crushes actually. Both on guys..."

"...That's wrong, isn't Ray? I just don't know what to do. I can't ignore these feelings, I just can't. They..I think they feel the same way too. I may just be seeing things cause I like em so much, but I swear that they look at me differently now. With love, their eyes hold fondness and affection in them."

"Do you think it would be wrong to love them both?"

As soon as I uttered the question, two flowers had fallen in my lap. Two dark red carnations. I knew that these flowers signified love, that's why I planted them near her grave all those years ago, so maybe this is Ray telling me what to do.

"This is my sign, isn't it Ray? I knew I could trust you, thank you so much. I love you, see you again soon."

I slowly rose from my knees with both carnations in hand. With one last thank you, I turned away from her grave and hurried to the car. I knew now what I had to do.