So Far Away

Someone You Loved

Chapter 19: Someone You Loved
7am
New Berk
The Great Hall Outdoors
Astrid POV:
The rain was pouring. Thunder still roared. Lighting struck and flashed across the dark, grey sky. Vikings walked in a large crowd to the Great Hall Outdoors. The weeping, and angry Vikings, who had just lost their Chief, my husband.
My hair was down and wavy, like me and Hiccups wedding day, but it was now drenched with rain. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as we reached the Great Hall.
I stood in the front, and waited for Gobber. He approached, slouched over with puffy, red eyes. Ruffnut was crying, along with Tuffnut. Fishlegs was bawling on Ruffnut, together, and Snotlout was trying to hold it all back.
I held Hiccup's Dragon Blade and wedding band against my stomach as I waited for Gobber to start the ritual.
There was nothing but darkness inside of me now. There was no light to guide me through anything, not even Valka, she didn't even come.
I felt empty, like I was sinking down under the waves too, and no one could save me. Like I was drowning too, suffocating down below. Submerged, I couldn't get back out, because I was already dead.
I looked back up with Gobber as men sat Hiccups boat by the ocean. I then looked back down at his armor, and walked onto the boat, slowly. I sat his armor, dragon blade, wedding ring, and even my wedding band down onto his body, and left he boat.
And when I turned around for Gobber to start the ritual, I saw Hiccup standing right beside him, giving me a deadly stare. I gasped and stared deeper. And when I turned away and looked back up, he was gone.
I shook my head and decided to pretend that nothing happened, even though something did.
Gobber started the ritual, but I was too busy looking around me. Then Hiccup appeared beside me again, right against my side. "You couldn't save me. Why couldn't you save me!" He growled and I began to cry harder. "Stop! Stop!" I whispered and a few people glanced at me, but shook it off. I covered my ears as Hiccup stared at me. "Go away!" I muttered and Vikings turned to me again. Hiccup faded again, and then I was alone, looking stupid.
I rolled my eyes and watched Gobber. "For he was a Husband. A Chieftain. Someday a Father. A Hero. A Good Friend," Gobber said and he nodded to the gang and me. We all nodded at each other and walked forward, taking the bows and arrows.
I got the sharp one, I got to shoot first.    I looked out towards the boat and looked down as the tears flooded my face. I felt a hand slide down my arm, and saw Hiccup again. He lifted up the bow with me as I whimpered.
"You killed me," He whispered and I cried even harder as I launched the bow into the ship that started to burn my husband's body. I fell to the ground and stared out at sea.
I held my face in my hands as Gobber put a hand on my shoulder. I stood back up and sniffled, and ran away. I ran past the crowd, nudging and pushing everyone out of my way. I ran up to Aneskas house, hoping she could explain why I was seeing Hiccup.
I can't live with this anymore.
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An Hour Later
Aneskas Hut
Astrid POV:
"So I can't stop them?" I ask Aneska and she sighed. "Not really, you have to overcome them yourself," She says and I sniffled. "Just great," I whimpered and Aneska gave me a small smile. "This is why I never fell in love," She says and I rose my brows at her. "Why? Because your choice of the same sex is not popular?" I asked her and she shook her head. "No, it's not that, if you don't love people, you won't ever get hurt," Aneska explains as she went through her notes.
"But your a healer," I said and she chuckled. "I don't love my patients Astrid. I care for their health, that's it. But I usually don't care for or love them. I know, I'm super mean," Aneska chuckled as she flipped over her chart. "It's not mean, I guess. It's just the way you live," I sighed and Aneska rose her brows.
"No, it's truth. If you don't care or love, you can't hurt anyone," Aneska says and I rose my brows. "How did that happen to you?" I asked her and she sighed, giving me sorrow eyes. "I lost someone close to me too, my lover, Athena. She was like you, you remind me a lot of her. Drago had attacked my old village when I was 20, while I was still in healer training. Athena was captured for knowing things that she wasn't supposed to know about Drago. He tortured her, killed her, cut off her head and sent it to my village as a warning. Then I realized that if I loved or cared for someone, I could never get hurt, and I could never hurt them. I would be stronger," Aneska whispers and my
Heart broke in two pieces.
"I'm so sorry Aneska. You loved her," I said and Aneska smiled. "I did. But it's frail and weak," Aneska says, wiping away her tears and walking to her office. I stomped my foot as I stood up, and she stopped in her footsteps. "What is?" I ask and she looked at me over her shoulder. "Love," She says and slammed the door behind her.
I sighed and ran out of the healers hut, I held onto what Aneska told me. Maybe what she said was true, that if I cared for the gang and my people that it could hurt me, them, or maybe even get me killed.
"You killed me," Someone whispered, and when I turned around I saw Hiccup again. "What do you want from me?!" I growled and he snickered. He then just stared at me, and my face softened. No tears began to shed. "Love is frail, Hiccup," I whispered and with that, he faded away.