Yudhisthira-- Jaya through his eyes

The day I grew up

No more. Dead. No more. Dead. Dead. Dead, reverberated in my ears, as I raced towards Mata Madri's hut with shaky legs. My heart hammered in my chest; my throat felt dry and head spinned.

You can't do this to us, Baba.

I could hear Maa Kunti's voice distinctly from afar, admonishing someone.

"You knew about the curse Madri. You knew about it."

I skipped stairs and barged into the hut. What I saw remained imprinted on my mind forever.

" How could you do it? YOU KILLED ARYA."

Maa Kunti stood right in the middle of the bare floor shouting at Mata Madri at the top of her lungs. Her hands moved wildly; with her index finger pointed towards the latter; her eyes swollen with tears flowing and kohl smudged. While she shouted, spit flew out of her mouth; the angavastram which she always took care in draping over her chest, lay abandoned on the floor.

On witnessing her raudra roop, a slight fear settled in my heart.

Mata Madri sat in one corner of the room; her legs drawn to her chest. She looked at Maa; eyes wide and unfocused, as if in a trance, while tears rained down from her eyes like a cloudburst. I doubt whether she was really listening to Maa. Her hair was dishevelled; kohl smashed all over her face. It confused me as to why she had covered herself with the bedsheet while her blouse, dhoti and angavastram lay askew on the bed.....on the bed.....on the bed lay Baba....no, his lifeless body.

I ran to the bed and sat by his side. Baba lay straight with his hands by his side like a soldier. His face looked so relaxed and innocent......almost childlike. His hair was dishevelled alike Mata Madri and some black substance (presumingly kohl) painted his cheeks; his eyes were closed and chest unmoving. I hoped.....almost hoped that he would suddenly get up and shout "BOOM".

I caressed his forehead and kissed his cheek, "My Baba. How did this happen?"

All of a sudden, my ears started to ring and eyes watered; the shouting noise in the background ceased; the birds outside stopped chirping;and everyone around me came to a standstill as if playing a game of 'Statue'. My ears buzzed and wooshed as it tried to catch frequencies of a higher plane of existence. A white smoke arose from Baba's nostril and began to take form; deep set eyes, protruding nose; strong limbs and a large trunk.

I stared at it blankly.

"Baba"

A large white humanoid figure towered over me with outstretched arms and a gently smiling face.

My heart began to overflow with emotions of overwhelming joy.

My Baba........my Baba is alive. He has come back.

Baba dropped his arms and smiled at me sadly,"No my Yudi, I am not alive. This is only a small fraction of my soul which had been trapped into my body until you touched."

"My touch?"

"My dear, I do not have much time to explain. Please take care of your brothers. Do not let any danger befall them. From today, you are their protector, you are their guardian.

"Baba please come back. We need you. We are all young. Nakul and Sahadev are only six."I pleaded, my heart bursting with emotion.

To my horror, his white form began to fade away rapidly. I tried to grab hold of his ghostly hand but it passed right through my fingers .His voice started to fade away too.

"Go to the palace,begin a new life. Remember, you will become the emperor. You have to become the emperor."he said with a sense of urgency.

"Please...."