Malec Fanfic

Chapter 34

Magnus watched as Alec's chest rose and fell, thinking about today's events as he struggled to sleep that evening. No matter what he did, and no matter how hard Alec tried to distract him, the man could not stop dwelling on his father. His anxiety grew as he thought about the man walking free, able to interact with society and possibly hurt other people again. Magnus hadn't felt this level of anxiety in years. To be honest, he hadn't felt it since he had his lowest point in rehab almost six years ago. But Magnus was stronger and better now. He had been through countless hours of therapy, with and without Alexander, and he had much better ways of coping with his feelings nowadays. That did not mean he was perfect, however. He still had moments of weakness and toxic thinking. And he knew exactly what he needed to do when he got in this head space, what he always did to get him through his anxiety. "Alexander. Hey baby". Alec woke slowly, rubbing his eyes as they opened and took in Magnus' concerned face. "Sorry to wake you". "No it's fine", Alec replied with sleep in his eyes, pushing himself up into a sitting position. "What's up?". "I'm just feeling...triggered I guess. This whole thing with my dad...I had the urge to drink today and I hated it", Magnus confessed, hanging his head in shame. Alec was silent, reaching out to wrap his arms around Magnus' bare shoulders. "Well I'm glad you told me Magnus. Thank you for communicating that with me instead of keeping that to yourself. And I have to say that I am very impressed with you. A weaker man would have given into those thoughts, but you didn't so that's something to celebrate", Alec ended with a small smile, turning Magnus' head by the man's chin so Alec could look into his eyes. "Magnus, I'm not sure if I say this enough, but I admire you so much. You have overcome insurmountable odds and you did it for me and Max, but mostly for yourself". "You did it so we could have the life that we want and so we could be together. I will always appreciate that", Alec finished, stroking Magnus' face with the back of his hand. Magnus closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. "You're right Alexander. You always know how to put things into perspective. There is nothing I care about more than you and Max. I'm not going to let some asshole ruin that for me", Magnus continued, leaning into Alec's body for an embrace. Alec began placing soft kisses on Magnus' head, wanting to show him just how much he was loved. Magnus then turned his head, placing his lips against his husband's neck as he began soft movements, trailing his mouth along Alec's sensitive skin. Suddenly Magnus propped himself up, pushing Alec's back down into the bed and climbing up over him. Alec looked pleasantly surprised as Magnus straddled him, placing a firm kiss directly on his husband's mouth. Alec was suddenly overcome with his horniness and he seemed to forget what the two were just talking about. Alec slid his hands down Magnus' back, grabbing onto the man's ass with both hands, enjoying the soft feeling as he squeezed. Wanting to surprise Magnus right back, Alec decided to flip their position, rolling over so Magnus was now below him. Magnus bucked his hips up into Alec's causing the man's head to fall down in pleasure. "Damn...", Alec moaned as Magnus connected his mouth to Alec's neck once again. "Wait. Babe", Alec stated half-halfheartedly. As much as he loved fucking his husband, Magnus had the tendency to avoid talking about his feelings sometimes by distracting Alec in the best was he knew how. "I want to make sure you're ok", Alec continued with his eyes closed, still allowing Magnus to work on his neck. "Oh I'm more than ok Alexander", Magnus mumbled sensually as his hand's threaded through Alec's head of hair. "Magnus you know what I mean", Alec insisted, now looking Magnus straight in the eyes.

Magnus' expression changed as he took in the worry on his husband's face. "Ugh!", Magnus moaned in an annoyed tone, pushing Alec off on him in frustration. "Hey!", Alec yelled, very confused at the shift in Magnus' attitude. "Alec...I feel like you're treating me differently, like you're pitying me or something. When I tell you these things I don't want you to tiptoe around me like I'm going to freak out or relapse at any second. "Hey. I didn't say that—"But I can tell you're thinking it!", Magnus yelled, standing up from the bed and moving to stare out the window into the cool night sky. "I'm fine, Alexander. I would have hoped at this point you could trust me to tell you everything". "I do Magnus! I wasn't treating you any different!" Alec insisted as he too rose from the bed, moving toward his husband. "Really?", Magnus asked in a harsh tone, flipping around to meet Alec's eyes. "Because if that were the case, I'd be inside of you right now, wouldn't I?", Magnus spit out. Alec's expression suddenly changed from concern to pain as he was hurt by his husband's words. Realizing that he went too far, Magnus tried to fix it. "Fuck. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that Alexander", Magnus stated as he reached out and grabbed the man's arms. "I'm projecting and taking my anger about this situation out on you and you are the last person who deserves that", Magnus spoke quickly as he leaned into Alec. "Magnus. It's not that I don't want to have sex it's just—" I know. I know Alec. You were just checking in on me. I overreacted. I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry", Magnus continued as he was still clinging onto Alec. "I just...I don't want anything to change because of this. I love you and I love our life and I've gotten used to the progress I've made. I just don't want anyone to pity me anymore". "You know that's not what that was", Alec said firmly, leaning back from his husband to look into his eyes. "Yes. I do. I overreacted. I'm truly sorry, Alexander". Alec took a deep breath, knowing that Magnus was being sincere. "It's ok my love. We'll get through this just like we've gotten through everything else: together."