TEXT MSG, minsung

60

last official chapter!

***

minho couldn't exactly say that he was liking these visits to this private psychiatrist clinic that his mother and woojin had gotten for him, but over the weeks, he'd grown to tolerate the psychiatrist called dr. kim in general, and the man's affinity for air conditioning.

at first, minho had hated this arrangement, and how much time he had to spend at the man's office on the first day, having to endure the doctor's invasive questioning and tests in front of his mother until he finally handed out his verdict as to what was actually wrong with him.

minho felt nothing less than a monster as he'd seated through the doctor describing in crude detail what exactly he had, listening to the man talk about the abnormalities of his brain. the more he'd listened to the man talk, the more his self-hatred grew, especially when he'd discovered that his father -- a person who had been nothing less than evil to him and his mother, and who had been mentally unstable to everyone -- was the one majorly resposible for all the torment he'd been going through as of recent.

when he'd first heard the doctor's words, he didn't feel like lee minho anymore. he'd felt like a physical embodiment of a range of mental disorders, the words schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety tattooed all over his forehead for the whole world to see. he didn't feel like a human deserving of any love, just a pathetic nutjob who could never be fixed, and who would eventually end up in an insane asylum.

later that day, he'd experienced a mental breakdown in his mother's home, but after one call, woojin'd arrived, comforting him and telling him that everything was going to be okay -- that he was going to be okay.

minho could remember how his heart rapidly raced as woojin had searched up all the things that he thought were wrong with him, only to feel himself gradually calm down when woojin showed him several articles and testimonials from people who were just like him. he witnessed how they struggled just like he did, how they got better in the process, and how they eventually went on to live normal lives in the end.

woojin had told him it would be like that for him as well, and even though minho didn't really believe him then, he'd regained a lot more hope for the future right then.

and then there came the extensive pescribed medications, the prolonged doctor visits, and the behavioural therapy. he had to talk -- a lot -- even under the scrutiny of his mother and his other close friends' eye many times. and when he spoke, he'd cry so much, the only thought running through his head being that everyone would all think he was crazy and hate him to no end. he thought they'd become scared of him and stay away from him forever. after all, he'd been nothing but reckless these past few months, pushing all their buttons and taking advantage of their kindness.

but...they didn't. seungmin, felix and changbin had been shocked when they'd first heard the news, of course, but they didn't leave him. they didn't push him aside and think of him as a psychopath with an illness that was unworthy of their attention, but instead they showered him with their love and care, and always made sure to visit him almost daily at his mother's house to make sure he was okay, as well as bring along all the notes he'd missed from his classes.

they still treated him like lee minho, their absolute best friend who was crazy talented at art and was an amazing dancer, and for that, minho felt nothing short of grateful. often times he felt like he wasn't deserving of any of their kindness, but whenever they were around him, they never failed to reassure him that he meant a lot to them. they didn't ever want to lose him, not again.