Not with a Fizzle, But with a Bang (The Bang Series #1)

Chapter 36

I look at her worriedly, "I didn't mean anything to them. That's why they walked away. But you know I don't want attachement Emerson."

She narrows her eyes at me, "I am not talking about me. God dammit Christian. Just listen."

I shake my head, slamming the file down, "I am listening. Listen to youself!"

She bites down on her lip, pain in her eyes and shakes her head opening the door, "I'm taking my lunch."

My stomach lurches, "Em I-"

"Don't," she snaps.

As soon as the words are out of my mouth I knew I couldn't take them back, but the look on her face told me I was partially right. I pace back and forth as I hear her desk drawer open. When I finally make the decision to go after her she's stepping onto the elevator. Just as she pushes the button and the doors start to close I stop them with my hand. 

"Em come on, just talk to me."

She shakes her head, "I don't want to talk to you right now. I need air."

I clench my jaw, holding back what I really want to say, "We need to talk about this Emerson."

She narrows her eyes and crosses her arms in defense, "No. What we need to is to stop talking right now. I just need air and some space okay?"

I hesitate at her words, but finally step back, letting the doors close. As the close, I see her eyes, and all I see is regret. But I didn't know what kind of regret I was truly seeing, and it scared me to death. 

As I pace back and forth in my office my phone rings, without looking I answer it, "Clark."

Christian? You canceled lunch. Why?

I groan internally, "Victoria I had other plans."

Had? I assume that means you'll be down the street in five minutes.

I gulp, thinking about Emerson, "Yes. I'll be there in ten."

I hang up, not wanting her to argue. I set my own time.

When I walk into the restaurant I head over to Victoria. The first thing I notice is her smile, her knowing look. The second thing I notice is the way she's dressed, she had really amped up her wardrobe. A skirt, and shirt similiar to what Emerson always wore. But she didn't pull it off the way Emerson did, she looked as if she was trying to hard.

She smiles at me, "Looks like you could use a drink."

"Or a few," I mumble.

"What happened?" she asks curiously, "Or should I ask whom?"

I glare at her, "This is not about Em."

Her eyes show shock, "Em? You're calling her by a nickname now? Oh Christian...surely you know better than that? You usually keep your pets at a distance."

The waitress comes up then and I order scotch, when she walks away I growl, "She is not a pet Victoria."

She laughs, "Oh Christian that is all that girl will ever be. It's what she secretly wants, she's just too stubborn to admit it."

I shake my head, "No it's not what she wants. What she wants is to feel safe. And I've managed to do the complete opposite for her."

She looks at me for a few moments before saying, "What happened that has you so shook up?"

I gulp, "Do you think it's possible for any sub to leave a dom sub relationship without growing feelings?"

She looks at me surprised, "Well no. But most get over it, and it's really only an infatuation. It's never true love."