Scrubs and Angels (Bastille/Dan Smith)

Chapter 26 - Phoebe

"Dan?" He asks, unsure of my words. "What do you mean this is all about Dan, it can't be. You don't even like him, in fact it's probably fair to say you hate him." Will says blatantly, but I feel myself guilty flinch, wincing at the topic, and at once he begins to start putting together the puzzle pieces. "Unless you don't..." He whispers under his breath, almost so silently that nothing comes out, but I hear it. I bury my face deep into my hands, it wasn't supposed to happen like this, no one was meant to find out about my feelings for Dan, they're not even supposed to exist, I think silently, but I know, now that Will knows this much already, no one's to stop him from finding out more, not even myself. I peer up from my hands and catch Will's glance, he states down at my vulnerable frame, ready and willing to catapult endless question after question at me.

"So, What exactly was going on between you and Dan?" He asks and I feel myself unwillingly buckle up.

"Nothing, there's nothing." I definitively say, trying to sound as confident as possible, but hopelessly failing. Will gives a me an honest glance, the kind a mother gives a child after they lie about stealing the last cookie from the jar, and I know I'm done for.

"So you say there's nothing between you two now, but you were the one who brought the topic up in the first place." He raises his eyebrows, his lips beginning to twitch into a smirk. I roll my eyes, I am not in the mood for this.

"Look, can we not talk about this." I plead, still fighting to keep my inner most feelings a secret from Will, but know I am losing the battle.

"Phoebe, I'm only trying to help you. I know things may be hard right now, because of whatever is happening with Dan, but I want you to feel better and you can only help me do that if you tell me what is going on." His eyes look deeply into mine, swallowing me whole, at last I know I have to give in, I can't handle holding back any longer.

"It all started at that concert two years ago, just before the show Dan came into my room to talk, but then things got personal and he lent over and next thing I knew, he kissed me and I kissed him back. I ran out of the room, I couldn't believe what I had done, I had cheated on Nick and the worst thing was, I hadn't just enjoyed it, it was the best kiss of my life." I begin telling my story but Will stops me before I begin my next sentence.

"Hang on a second, who is this Nick guy?" Will seems confused at the random name I have thrown into the story, but I correct my fault.

"Nicholas Smith, my boyfriend at the time, but anyway that's beside the point." I explain to Will and almost swear I see him flinch with recognition at Nick's name, but pass it off as imagination. I continue telling the story in detail, from my break up with Nick, to my constant thoughts about the night with Dan, to our reunion and how I had to hide my feelings, all the way up to the events of this afternoon. When I finish Will looks at me confused and shocked as he tries to process my overload of new information.

"You have to tell Dan you like him." Will says suddenly and confidently, but I shake my head in disagreement.

"Did not just hear what I said, it's over. Dan hates me." I admit bluntly, but Will ignores my words and instead intently stares off into space, as though he is trying to size up the circumstances.

"No, there has to be something else going on, what he did, what he said, that's just not like Dan. He's crazy about you." Will says still trying to work out what seems like an unsolvable problem. His words seem to begin to convince me that possibly Dan doesn't completely hate me, he did seen a bit off this afternoon. Will scratches his head in deep thought "Was there any other reason he said he had to leave?" Will asks hoping for another clue and luckily I have one.

"Yeah, He said something about his brother being in trouble with the law." I tell him, remembering the part of the story I omitted earlier. Suddenly I see Will's face click, as though he has finally solved the motivation behind Dan weird behaviors, but soon after his features turn grim, and I know the answer to this riddle is not something I want to hear. However curiosity pecks harshly at my insides, fiercely willing me to know the truth.

"What is it? What have you figured out?" I ask desperately, however Will only shakes his head as I had done so many times earlier.

"Believe me, I don't think Dan would want you to know, I don't even think he knows the whole truth. But he won't be coming back for a while, we need to postpone the rest of the tour and let everyone know as soon as possible." Will explains and I nod, if Will doesn't think I should know, it is probably for the best. I feel a lot better as I turn away to get started on the work of send out the message quickly, Will's words have really made me feel better. As I walk away, Will calls out behind me. "So you're not leaving in the end." I sign and turn back to him.

"Not yet." I admit, heading back to my room. As I sit down and pull out my laptop I can't help but wonder what it is Will is hiding from me. I frantically send emails and shuffle around dates, but my head is still focused on my conversation with Will. He managed to clear my head and change my opinions of Dan's actions. Because if him I know now that maybe I still have a shot with Dan, I don't deserve it, but if he likes me, like Will says, I need to do what I should have done when we first met.I still wish to return to London, but now the motive is different, instead of running away from Dan I need to confront him.