Scrubs and Angels (Bastille/Dan Smith)

Chapter 33 - Phoebe

My eyes scanned obssesively over the single line of text from Kyle, as they had frequently been doing for most of the morning.

DAN IS STAYING IN ROOM 304 THE GREAT NORTHERN HOTEL :)

After witnessing my own jealousy seeing Ana and Logan together, I knew it was time to finally do what I should have done a long time ago, apologize to Dan. Maybe he will forgive me for the terrible ways I treated him and maybe if what Will said about him liking me is still true, we can take a shot at love.

I recheck my appearence in the mirror for what feels like the thousandth time, nervously touching up my hair and my clothes, obssessively copulsively making sure everything was right, it had to be for Dan. I flicked a strand behind my ear one last time before grabbing my purse and heading out to the front door. I walk past Ana and Logan, as usual they are making out on the couch. Ana looks up at me, confused.

"Where are you going?" she asks in wonder.

"I have to go and clear somethings up from the tour." I reply on the way to the door She stares at me with puppy dog eyes, disappointed.

"Already, but you only just arrived." She whines, but all I can do is give her a sympathetic smile as I leave.

"I'm coming back," I assure her, hastily heading out the door, seeing them together has only made me more desperate to see Dan. I head downstairs and to my car, quickly typing in The Great Northern hotel into my GPS system. The entire drive there I I play out the perfect scenario of the trip. Dan welcoming me with open arms, me telling him how I always did have feelings for him, him agreeing, and then us kissing the way we did that first night. I dream and hope lustfully that this will occur, but I can't deny that after the pain I've caused him, I doubt Dan even likes me.

I pull up in front of the unmistakable sign of the Great Northern Hotel. Stepping out of the car I am so nervous I can barely breathe. What ever happens now could change the rest of my life, I will either confirm a relationship that could be everlasting, or reduce one to ashes. I enter reception and adjourn the elevator, every movement feeling like a burden weighd down by my nervousness. I exit on level three and make my way to his room.

304

The large numbers printed on the door feel as overwhelming as a 10 metre cliff edge. My breathing iss so heavy it could be heard a mile away, my heart is beating so fast it might as well rip out of my chest. This is it, I think to myself, it's now or never. Bile rising in my throat, I reach my hand out and place three knocks on the door. Toungue trembling, I bite down, nervously awaiting the absent silence.

A few minutes pass and my hope begins to drop, but my feverish distress still rises, what if he's not even home or worse, this is someone else's room.I am about to consider knocking again, when abruptly, the door slides open, leading me to become face to face with him. His hair is ruffled from his usually perfectly styled quiff and his glasses rest lopsided on his face, but his piercing blue eyes remain as endless and intriguing as always. I find myself paralysed on the spot, entraced by their never-ending kaleidoscope of blues.

"Phoebe, what are you doing here?" Dan asks in shocked confusion and I am abruptly woken from my awkward daze. My cheeks begin to to rose as I reach for a reply, but wordlessly struggle embarrassingly.

"Um... Well I guess I just came here because I wanted to apologize for what happened on tour, I treated you like complete shit when you did deserve it." I admit, upset. Dan's lips purse as he looks down awkwardly before making a dazed eye contact with me. "Look I know you're not just going to forgive me straight away or maybe ever, but I just want you to know the truth." I shut my eyes together whilst taking a deep breath, I refrain from making eye contact with Dan, knowing I will probably lose myself in emotions. I exhale before beginning again. "Will told me about how you felt about me, and I wanted you to know..." I am cut off by a rustling coming from inside Dan's room. I crane my head to peer inside the door before risking looking at him. He only stares back slightly confused, bur he seems barely affected by my apology, hitting me square in the chest.

"You wanted me to know what?" He asks looking slightly annoyed by my abrupt pause. My hope plummages and my heart falls with his expressions, he doesn't care, he hates me, coming here was a stupid mistake. I open my mouth to finish the question, reluctantly after seeing his true expressions of feelings, but I stop as I hear more suspicious noises coming from inside. Dan begins to answer but is interupted as a tall, dark haired girl walks out, wearing barely anything but Dan's old Lost Highway shirt. My falling heart crashes into the ground, obliterating itself into millions of tiny fragments. I am broken, shattered. I curse myself for so foolishly allowing myself to hope that Dan would be so willing to kiss me again. The girl stares at me with suspiscious confusion before turning to Dan.

"Dan, sweetie." She begins and I find myself cringing at her nickname. "Who is this and why is She here?" She asks innocently and I want to spit in her face.

"Don't worry about it Frey, it's just someone from work," He assures her and I feel my insides burning up with anger, if he really liked me so much, how could he refer to me as just someone from work. I feel my eyes beginning to water up and I quickly bite my toungue to stop the flow. I will not let Dan see me cry now.

"It's okay." I address both of them. "I was just leaving." Dan's face drops as if he finally sees what he has done. I turn away from him, unable to look anymore.

"Phoebe, wait." I hear him protest, but I don't care. I just keep walking until it turns into a run.