bottom harrie diaries

𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐢𝐬

ACCORDING TO BOTTOM LOUIES:

why louis is a bottom 🌸🥺🍓

-his bum
-he's shOrt
-he's sassy
-blue eyes*
-his 'voice'
[ that's it. ]

*[ deadass,
someone
said this &
i laughed ]

💌

NOW HERE'S WHY I DISAGREE:

1. his bum is not a valid point for why he's allegedly a bottom.

it's literally something he was BORN with that has deflated greatly in the past like, two years. it isn't even an argument at all anymore.

but if you want to talk bums:

where is she?

there she is 😌

she's always kinda been there, we jus never paid much attention to her. (bonus: harry looks so pretty there and we can't even see his face, ugh.)

2. repeat after me: height. doesn't. FUCKIN. matter.

ESPECIALLY when the height difference is two damn inches.

you're a piece of shit if you actually think that louis tomlinson - who is actually 5'9 [ he was arrested for assault and battery. they fucking measure you at the police station for that shit, jennifer, it's all there on his record ] cannot top harry 5'10-or-5'11-on-a-good-day styles SIMPLY because he's a maximum of two inches shorter.

legit miss me wit that 'tol & smol' bullshit, you rlly stink, jennifer.

shameless self plug, but if u wanna see why i think larry's height difference is only an inch or two, check my rants book [ the chapter "height difference" ]

3. "bUt hE's tHe qUeEn oF sAss"

uhm. ok do u understand how stupid you sound? cus last time i checked, a sassy attitude literally has nothing to do with whether or not you take it up the ass wtf.

like ok he's sassy, what the HELL does that mean then? bottom!louies eggsblain pls, cus i'd actually LOVE to hear the dumbass story behind this lmfao

4. oh shit louis has BLUE eyes? my bad i guess this means that by default he HAS to take it up the ass 🙄 y'all might as well delete all your top!louis books because now we have clear proof that louis is a bottom [ because he has blue eyes. ] sorry for wasting y'all's time.

*cough* that's fuckin stupid *cough*

sorry i got some bullshit in my throat.

5. you mean to tell me that all this time, your vOICE was the real factor that exposes your preferred sex position?

damn i'm uneducated. you're right. louis having a "high pitched" voice is definite proof that louis goes under harry in bed. thank you for opening my third eye, you son of a bitch.

deadass, if you call yourself a larry stan but cannot see the painfully obvious dominance louis had [ when larry was actually alive ] then idk if you should call urself that lmfao.

it's kinda obvious that harry bottomed, especially before 2012 [ simply because larry basically stopped existing after 2013 and if you disagree, you're one of those "delusional" larries lmao fwm ]

but i'ma leave larry for a whole other part bc this snippet makes me seem rude n also like an anti [ i'm pissed today, blame my period ] so stay tuned for a further explanation of all the stuff in bold