ten | twice [EDITING]

Prologue

2022 Update

After quite a while of not knowing how to end this story nor knowing what direction I wanted it to head in, I've finally figured out what I want. I formally apologize for the wait and for the lack of updates. I would recommend you re-read these chapters for the context of alterations I've made.

To current readers: By the time you see these chapters being re-released, please note that this means I have finally completed my edits.
To new readers: I hope you enjoy <3

____

Soft streams of light peaked behind greyed curtains, illuminating white walls and ricocheting off glass antiques.

Filling the room was a wafting mist, making it increasingly harder to breathe. Upon stepping out of the shower I sighed and exhaled the fresh air which welcomed me. Droplets of water fell from my skin as calloused hands reached blindly for a towel: immediately relaxing at the feel of soft lavender wrapping firmly around my body. Maneuvering my way to stand in front of the sink, I wiped away at the fogged-up mirror and sighed once more.

I was now, officially, a bona fide mess.

My chapped lips brought in slow breaths, chest rising and falling with each rhythmic beat of my heart. My skin looked paler than what I remembered it once being, cheeks a shade of deep red from the hot water once crashing forcefully against me. My hair no longer fell to my waist, now stopping just below my collarbones and clinging so irritatingly to dampening skin. Staring back into the eyes that were my own, I couldn't help but wince. I almost couldn't recognize myself.

I almost couldn't recognize the sullen expression which befell my features. The deep, dark bags situated under my eyes, the quivering of my parted lips. I was different. Things were different. Thoughts ran rampant in my mind however one stood out the most, a realization: change is terrifying. It was crazy how much could change in only a matter of time. Crazy how much life could change, how everything you once loved could mean nothing to you within an instant. Specifically, in my case, it was crazy how fame could change you. It was crazy how much a person could love, long, hate and despise so painfully all at the same time.

And yet, here I was. Different.

I'd been here so many times before. Sitting on this same chair in front of Park Jinyoung with a sinking feeling weighing heavy in my chest. His office had changed, but it seemed we remained the same: him, looking down at me with those kind eyes one might mistake him for being my father. Me, a nervous wreck as I toyed with my fingers in my lap. For the past two hours we'd sat here in silence with nothing but the sound of his occasional pen-click or inhale of air. I'd never known silence to feel so suffocating until now.