n i n e

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The first bruise he said it was okay as he apologized over and over again, saying he didn't mean to do it and that he would never do it again and he would say sorry over and over again.

But sorry slowly just became a useless word that they shared between the two along with love and kisses and small bruises here and there.

It didn't matter though because she knew no one would love her the way he did.

No one would ever love her.

However today was a bit different as her friend came home from college, something new... something different. So she wasn't surrounded by the toxic love where it almost felt like she couldn't breathe.

"How are you doing?" Her friend, Isabella asked her as she noticed the dark circles under Lenita's eyes and the weary smile and she wondered if she was getting all the love she deserved and more. It seemed like that at first as she talked about Harry with happiness filling her eyes and love glowing in her chest but now all she saw was a mix of sadness and hatred yet her heart still ached with love.

"I'm okay... I am doing okay... I think, yeah," she mumbled because she didn't really know if she was okay because there were days where she felt the happiness within her soul and it would show in the smile she would shine to the world. But then there were days where she felt worse than she had ever been and lonelier than she ever felt. So she didn't particularly know whether she was okay or not.

And Isabella and Lenita walked through the farmers market looking at items for purchase and as they did although Isabella didn't know what went on in Lenita's head and the baggage she carried that she can barely hold on her shoulders, she knew that she wasn't okay and that she had her days where she would show her happiness to the world but then hide from it.

"Well... that's good I suppose," she responded slowly, curiosity only shown in her eyes. "How is Harry? I feel like since you've been with him you kind of just disappeared."

"He's happy." happy having her in between his fingers.

And as Lenita said that she felt her phone vibrate only for the eighth time, knowing it was Harry but it was kind of hard to answer the phone when only hours ago he left yet another bruise and the apologies only sounded like broken record.

A record she was tired of playing.

"You can get that you know," Isabella told her but she only shook her head in panic before deciding to put her phone on silent.

"Im here to spend the day with you," she said but it was only to cover up the fear of the yelling that was waiting at home later on but she loved him so it was okay. she deserved to be yelled at, she deserved to be hated. she was lucky to have the love harry  gave her. "How is school in Boston?" She asked.

"It's good...." And she went on about moving there and how she loved the environment and everything was good. And if Lenita had the money she would be on the first plane with her and starting fresh and forgetting her life here but unfortunately that wasn't the case.

An hour went by maybe two they weren't really keeping count as Lenita tried to enjoy herself with the time she had without Harry because with Harry there was only just confusion and for once she just felt... well, sane.

It only lasted so long when she saw an all too familiar car roll up at the side, the windows tinted so she can hardly see the face of the driver but she knew the car all too well and the feeling of confusion of emotions suddenly felt overwhelming once she saw the car.

"Oh my ride is here," she lied because she knew that Isabella told her she would drop her home and she never picked up her phone once to ask for a ride and Isabella knew this herself but she didn't question it but instead threw obvious hints.

"That's weird I told you I would drop you," she told her as Lenita nodded her head. "I know."

"It's weird too because I don't really remember you asking for a ride.... you didn't use your phone or anything."

"I probably told him to pick me up before I left and totally forgot to tell you," she lied once more and avoided contact because all she felt like was a liar and she felt dirty with bruises and scars covering her with the confusing emotions of happy and sad.

So Lenita hugged her quickly and promised her they would meet once more before she had to go back for school.

Unfortunately that didn't happen but for now that was the promise before hearing the two quick honks beckoning her as she walked quickly to the car before climbing inside.

"How did you know where to find me?" She asked him not bothering with the greetings.

"Why weren't you answering your phone?" He asked instead of answering. "I was worried about you."

"I was hanging out with my friend," she said in annoyance. "I didn't want any distractions."

"So I'm a distraction now?"

"How the fuck did you find me Harry?" She asked again and usually he would warn her about her tone and how she talked to him but it was the minor panic he had from the question she asked that allowed him to ignore it.

Silence.

"How did-"

"You told me."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did," he argued. "Before you left and when we had that... disagreement you told me you were going to the farmers market. I didn't like the way we ended things and I'm sorry for selfishly coming here but I wanted to talk."

But he was lying, he had to be because she knew she didn't tell him where she was because she didn't want to be found.

But for now she just kissed his lips because she was tired of the fighting and she was pretty sure she didn't tell him and she didn't want anymore bruises to add to her body.

So for now... for now she agreed and she told him the words he always wanted to hear. "I love you... I need you baby."

And those words sounded like a broken record.

A record he was never tired of hearing.

if this sucks i'm so sorry but i finally updated you're welcome hehe. i wanna say there is about five to eight more chapters left roughly so uh yeah be prepared:)

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