Frostbite: The Time In Between// Book 6 of the Frostbite Series

Chapter 6

It was a little too hard for me to say anything to Bucky as I sat on my mat and he went on chattering about his progress. I was happy for him, I really was, but the questions and knowledge eating at my brain made it hard to show that. I stared down at my lavender-hued hands folded in my lap, every now and then I would wring them, causing them to turn a pale yellow for a second before the lavender color returned.

"We haven't done the final test yet, which will be you reading the trigger words, but Shuri is 100 percent sure that I won't have a react-" Bucky stopped mid-sentence, he was looking at me now, his brow furrowed. "You alright?"

I glanced up at him, a weary smile pulled at my lips. His hopeful expression disappeared, turning to a look of deep concern. He took a few steps towards me before kneeling down and placing his right hand on top of my folded hands.

"What's eating you, doll?" He asked.

The icicle plunging through Lakovitch's throat flashed through my mind and my chest felt tight.

"Do you think it's a bit dark in here?" I stalled.

"Huh?"

"Let's go outside," I stood abruptly. 

This caught Bucky off guard and he almost fell backwards. Once he was standing I headed towards the door, reaching the doorway and feeling the wave of heat hit my face. I put my hand up in front of me, frost prickling at my fingers.

Bucky now stood next to me, looking down at me with a confused expression. "Ellie?"

"Were you ever scared of me?" I asked.

I turned my hand so that I was looking at my palm. The veins were bright blue, how they usually appear when I'm about to attack.

"Scared of you?" Bucky repeated. "Doll, why are you asking that?"

"In HYDRA, Bucky, were you ever scared of me?" I asked again.

"No, I-"

"I read my files," I interrupted, turning to face him. "I lost control, a lot, I had accidents, and over time I became someone else. Were you ever scared?"

"Snow Angel, that was a long time ago, you shouldn't worry about it."

He wasn't answering the question. He was avoiding it, and that was making me anxious. I began to walk towards the tree by the lake, Bucky trotted behind me to catch up. My chest felt tight again, my hands began to feel cold, I could hear the blood gurgling in Lakovitch's throat.

"Ellie, those files..." Bucky began. "You can't let them get to you."

"You recalled me torturing a target, what happened?" I turned to face him.

"I don't want to tell you," Bucky shook his head.

"Why not?"

"Because you're going to let it go to your head and it's never going to leave you."

"No, I want to know. I want to know so that it won't happen again," I pointed my hands towards myself. "I don't want to lose control again."

Bucky still wasn't answering my question and I turned back towards the tree and continued walking. The sun beating down on me seemed to be making no difference to the temperature of my cold skin. Am I mad? I feel frustrated.

Bucky caught up and was now walking next to me. The sound of the electrical rod had replaced Lakovitch's blood gurgling, each time I heard the electrical zap I felt a pain in my side. My heart was racing again, my chest was tight. Zap again. A patch of ice shot out from my foot as I took a step. Another panic attack was on it's way and I didn't know how to stop it. I walked faster, thinking I could somehow out run it. A child screamed with glee in the distance and the scream turned into my own in the electrical chair in Siberia. A shock wave surged through my body, the pain was unbearable. I closed my eyes and let out a pained cry, holding my hands to the side of my head.