Raised in a Gang

Chapter 39

Tyra POV

"Ray," I said, stroking his hand as we laid in his bed watching Set It Off. "Do you think Mickie will be okay?"

The thought's been on my mind for a whole week now. I hadn't heard much from Mickie but when I did, she'd say that she was fine and would change the subject. Even when she laughed I could still hear the brokenhearted cries and emotions she kept bottled up in her voice. I hadn't much knowledge of having your heart broken but I did know that she'd spend a majority of her time thinking about what Chresanto did. It would be hard for her to get over this and in all honesty, I didn't think she ever would get over it.

"She'll be fine. Give her time." Ray reassured. He turned the volume on the TV up higher, probably to mute out my voice, and watched as Cleo got shot by the police in one of the final scenes of the movie.

"I always hated this part of the movie," I mumbled to no one in particular. I was just thinking aloud not really caring if Ray heard me or not.

Now that I knew what Ray did and how dangerous he was living, this part of the movie reminded me of Ray's sadistic lifestyle and only made me worry that one day, he might end up like Cleo and Frankie and T.T.

"She'll be fine. Nothing a little Robitussin can't fix." said Ray nonchalantly.

I looked up at him and pouted. "Nothing a little Robitussin can't fix?" I said unbelievably. "That's gotta be about twenty or thirty bullets in her chest."

Ray shrugged. "That's nothing. I'm used to it." His casual choice of words made me flinch. Did he really get shot at so often that he was used to the feeling?

"Sorry." He said.

I sighed as the end credits rolled on the screen. I flicked the TV off and sat up. I crossed my legs Indian style and tied my large and curly hair to the top of my head in a messy bun.

"Ray, are you okay?"

He stared blankly at me and sighed. He shook his head and sat up. "No. No, I'm not okay."

"Yeah," I bit my lip and held back my tears. "I figured."

"It's just that," Ray sniffled and sat up, "I'm not okayn I'm really not okay. Nothing is okay. Nobody is okay. Have you fucking seen Chresanto? Mickie is heartbroken and it's because of Chresanto! Fucking Chresanto. That fucking idiot." Ray took his brand new iPhone 6 and threw it aggressively towards the other end of the room where it smashed into pieces.

"It's all my fucking fault. It's all me. All me. I should've done something sooner, Tyra."

"Ray, there's nothing you could've done." I said calmly. I was so scared and wanted to cry, but I've cried enough. Ray needed someone right now and now was not my time to cry. Ray was always comforting me and being calm at the right times when he knew I needed him to be there for me. Right now, I was going to be here for Ray.

"Yes there fucking is, Tyra!" Ray yelled. "I should've been there when he needed me." By now, he was done holding in his tears. Lately, Ray's been crying to me a lot and considering the fact that I grew up learning that it takes a real man to cry to his girl, especially over his bros, I was going to let him cry all he wanted and I definitely wasn't going to hold it against him nor stop him.

"Ray," I said, "You were being the best friend you could be to Chresanto. There was really nothing you could do to stop this."

"I'm just... I'm tired of losing everyone I care about."

"You haven't lost me." I said, looking into his eyes.

He looked up and made eye contact with me. "Yet."

"No. You won't lose me. Ever." I said sternly.

"Tyra, everyone leaves at some point." He said, "I'm just being honest."

I shook my head. "No, Ray. I'm telling you that you'll never lose me."

He sighed and sniffled. "Tyra, I love you and you know that. But face it, even if we do last, we'll grow old together and get married and have a bunch of kids and then what? One of us will croak first and the other will die later. Or you'll find someone who's way better than me and isn't going to put you or your best friend's life in danger every damn day. You'll leave me eventually. Stop lying to me."

"Fuck, Ray!" I snapped. "I fucking love you, can't you see that? I'm in love with you and I'm promising you right here and right now that you will never ever lose me! Ever!"

And that was the day I lost my virginity to the love of my life.

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