WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU PUMPKINS , james potter

━ three. revenge best served in a silver goblet

(confusing but funny chapter,
rewrite coming soon!)

CHAPTER THREE:
- revenge best served in a silver goblet -
1977

"THAT'S HER, RIGHT THERE! THAT'S THE Slytherin that was being a total git in Potions the other day." The three Gryffindors turned to where their friend was pointing.

     "Her? The, uh, weird looking ginger with the book?" Sirius glanced up quickly, only paying half attention. He was busy (not so) secretly copying Remus's Transfigurations homework.

     "Yeah, her!" James huffed. "You know, I'm getting sick and tired of stuck up Purebloods thinking they're better than everyone. Yippie, Mummy and Daddy are cousins, what an achievement!"

     Peter snorted at James. "Why does it matter though? She's just some Slytherin, right."

     "But it does matter."

     "Why?"

     "It just— go back to your french toast, Peter." James grumbled. He hated it when any of his friends made sense. It was annoying.

     Peter held his hands up in defense before returning back to his meal, discreetly stealing a piece of bacon from a distracted Sirius.

     The four friends, better known as the Marauders, were gathered in the Great Hall. It was breakfast and they all ate together as usual. Ever since he'd been dissed by some Slytherin girl in his Potions class, James couldn't go two second without ranting about how "completely stuck up" she was and how "someone outta teach her a lesson". Honestly, the three preferred it when all he talked about was Lily.

     "Her name's Madeline Winston. She's the Slytherin prefect, same year as us," said Remus. "She isn't that bad, really."

     James gave his friend a look of disbelief. "Not that bad? She's a complete areshole!"

     "I mean, she probably could have said it differently, but—"

     "No defending the enemy, Lupin!" James exclaimed.

     Remus shook his head at James and his dramatics. "All I'm saying is you're judging her too quickly. Sure she's rough around the edges, but hey, so is Sirius."

     At the mention of his name Sirius looked up. "Oi! I will have you know, Moony, I am one smooth mother fucker. Edges and all."

     "You're annoying is what you are," mumbled Remus.

     "Sorry, couldn't quite catch that."

     "Nothing!"

     James groaned. "You guys aren't getting it. Something has to be done. She can't just get away with what she said. And I'm like 90% sure she's a terrible person. So I'd be justified."

     "You keep talking about this," moaned Peter, "what do you even have in mind?"

     "I don't know, something hilarious and humiliating probably." James wrapped his arm around Peter and reached his hand across the table to clasp Remus on the shoulder. "We haven't done a prank all year. Seven days lads, seven excruciating days without getting into any trouble. This could be the perfect thing to get the pot stirring, a classic rotten Slytherin crusade."