How-To: Feminism

Chapter Six: Toxic and Hegemonic Masculinity

Hegemonic: 'ruling or dominant in a political or social context' ~ Dictionary.com

Hegemonic masculinity is the theory that, based on the power dynamic and privilege structures within our heteronormative society, the subordination of alternative masculinities reinforces the gender order and the patriarchal construction.

In other words, we treat men who aren't typically masculine as less than, and this strengthens the dominance of masculinity over femininity in society.

We begin (as usual) with the patriarchal structure. How we define masculinity is the first issue. An ideal masculine man is heterosexual (white), competitive, independent, physically strong, dominant/forceful, etc..

These unrealistic (and horribly and blatantly wrong) ideologies directly link to the formation of hegemonic masculinity. This is built on two main points of discussion: the domination of women and the hierarchy of intermale dominance.

Hegemonic masculinity then leads to gender socialisation where people are taught and encouraged to act as certain way based on their sex. I.e. females wear dresses and makeup; males play sports. Anyone who strays from these traditional roles is automatically wrong.

This gendered socialisation encourages the power dynamic (and inequality) of men being dominant over women (and over men who are less masculine).

Social power inequality leads to further inequalities, whether that be health, economic, political, or otherwise. All of these inequalities result in the social reproduction of the patriarchal society and the cycle of patriarchal dominance all over again.

This brings us to the idea of toxic masculinity.

Toxic and hegemonic masculinity, in my opinion, go hand in hand. The baffling desire for men to adhere to traditional gender roles and restrict their emotional capacity is the reason why our society fails to progress.

The phrase 'toxic masculinity' has been grossly misinterpreted; it is not a phrase that says all men are evil and inherently bad (although most anti-feminists would disagree – this stems from a lack of understanding, and/or the desire to understand).

This idea denotes the description of manhood in which we associate manliness with aggression, violence, sex, and a lack of emotional range.

As discussed in previous chapters, this idea of manliness is perpetrated from a very young age. Excusing bad behaviour as 'boys just being boys' is the epitome of toxicity and frankly, just lazy parenting.

My question to all the perpetrators who reinforce traditional gender roles is, what are you so afraid of?

What is the worst thing that could happen if men wore makeup?

Or if more women were placed in positions that allowed them the power to govern our society?

Why is equality such a scary concept?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: people who are at the top - the ones governing our society – don't wish for societal change because they continue to benefit from the systematic oppression of anyone and everyone who doesn't fit into the societal norm.

Toxic masculinity is quite apparent in almost every aspect of life.

Need to go to the shops? Can't buy your tampons without noticing the shelf below them that's selling tissues specifically designed for men. Because men's snot is inherently rougher than a lady's and therefore should cater to the differences between bodily functions.

Need to get a haircut? You absolutely have to go to the hairdresser and not the barber shop that's right around the corner. Because they don't know how to cut female hair; it's completely different to men's and only female hairdressers or gay men know what to do with it.

... I mean, seriously?

Moving on! Let's talk about the phrase 'he's picking on you because he likes you'.

He pulled your bra strap because he thinks you're pretty. You should take it as a compliment.

I will continue to repeat this next statement as many times as necessary (even if it kills me): this is sexual harassment.

Plain and simple. The internalised misogyny is so great that our mothers are telling us that this is normal; that boys are allowed to violate us.

The toxic nature of masculinity teaches our boys that to express any emotion is to express aggression. He may very well like you; but why can't he use his words? Why does he immediately resort to violence?

Not only this, but our justifications are teaching our girls to be submissive and complicit in the violence. Without questioning the impact our words and actions have on our children, the toxic cycle only continues to flourish.

We owe it to the future generations, and more importantly, we owe it to ourselves to disrupt the toxic patterns of masculinity in our society.

We don't have to be complicit in the objectification of women, or the dehumanisation of a not traditionally masculine man.

Men can say no to sex. Men can wear makeup. Men don't have to be physically strong for them to have worth. Men don't have to use violence to achieve respect. I could honestly go on for hours...

Often, when people (men specifically) hear the term 'toxic masculinity' they brush us off as just another 'bra-burner' who hates men.

Because people fear what they don't understand.

The goal for feminists, and specifically, my goal as a feminist, is to reach out to as many people as possible and educate them so the world can become a better place.

Education is not a bad thing. Sometimes, we have to admit that we don't know enough to be an active participant in a conversation. I'm still learning every single day and I love the fact that there is always something new to be discovered.

I mean, how boring would your life be if you thought you knew everything?

The first step of change and/or growth is always education. Ignorance and apathy are and will always be the biggest hindrance to societal change.

When people can recognise there is an issue and actively decide to listen, rather than immediate dismissing the idea, change is one step closer to becoming a reality.

Anyone who is reading this right now has proved that they are open to education and change (unless you're here to hate on feminists, in which case, please leave), and you should all know that I'm extremely grateful and proud to be sharing these thoughts with you.