Hope - Steven Universe x Depressed!Reader

Chapter Four - Small Conversation

(Y/n) laid down on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. She had just woke up, and she already felt unbearable sad. Her chest felt empty, like there was a scribble of darkness right over it, or a hole deep inside it.

She's gotten used to it, but it's an unbearable thing to have to feel. She wished she didn't exist solely to get rid of this horrible, empty feeling. She wished she didn't have to deal with it all the time, she just wanted to go a single day without feeling this terrible feeling.

She didn't want to do anything, she just continued to lay there, mindlessly staring up at the ceiling. It's all she wanted to do, and it's all she felt like doing right now. She felt unmotivated and tired, and the dark circles under her eyes were clearly visible.

After a while of mindless staring, she slowly sat up on her bed, the feeling starting to get worse. She let out a sigh, holding back the tears that were starting to form. This was normal for her, unfortunately, and she hated it so much.

She got dressed, slowly but surely, and headed out to the living room.

"Hey, (Y/n)," her mom said, softly. "Would you like something to eat?"

She shook her head no and walked towards the door. She wasn't hungry right now, and the thought of eating anything made her feel sick. "I'm going to go to the beach again," she said as she walked out of the door.

She had to admit, despite only seeing him for a brief moment, Steven was one of the nicest people she's met. He seemed so cheerful and upbeat, and he was fun to talk to. The beach was also a relaxing place, she felt a bit more calm there than when she was at home.

She hoped she'd see him again, that was the main reason she came back out here. She wanted to talk to someone, and he was around her age as well.

Walking quickly to the beach, she tried avoiding any person she saw. She wasn't in the mood for social interaction with complete strangers and people she didn't want to talk to.

Once she got there, she was relieved to see that nobody was there. Quickly and quietly, she sat down. She took a deep breath, hoping her sadness would leave her. Unfortunately, it stayed and seemed to be getting no better.

At times like this, she wished she hadn't stopped harming herself like she had done a long while back. She sometimes missed the feeling of the blade stinging and giving a burning sensation as it ran across her skin.

It was a good thing she had stopped, because it was so unhealthy, but it was addicting. She didn't want to stop but after a while she knew she had to.

She looked down at her arms, the scars still visible. She took a slow, deep breath. She would always be reminded of this, and it upset her a tiny bit, knowing she'd never be able to get rid of them.

She seemed to be lost in her own thoughts for a while, until she heard Steven's voice, making her turn around.

"Hey, (Y/n)." Steven's voice seemed a bit soft, probably considering he had just woken up as well. "What are you doing out on the beach so early?" Steven rubbed his eyes as he walked towards her.

"I couldn't really sleep," she sighed. "What are you doing?"

"I woke up a while ago, I just saw you were out here and I was wondering if you'd like to talk?" He looked at her, slightly smiling. "You seemed like you were kind of sad yesterday and I didn't get to know you that well other than your name."

(Y/n) nodded. The anxiety she had seemed to have lessened whenever Steven offered to talk to her. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but there were some people that seemed to make her feel less anxious, even if she hardly even knew them.

It was nice when she found people like that, because it hardly ever happened. Back at her home, there were a few cashiers that worked in a store she and her parents went to often that she felt comfortable around. Any time she saw that they were working, she felt less anxious than she had before she walked inside.

The difference with Steven, however, is that he was around her age, and she was actually able to be his friend. She didn't have many friends back home, and the ones she did have she got attached to them to the point she felt like was annoying them despite them saying she was fine.

"So," he sat down next to (Y/n), making her stiffen up for a moment out of reflex. "Your name is (Y/n), right?"

"Yeah"

"That's cool! I haven't heard a name like that before!" He chuckled, making (Y/n) smile. She felt a little less sad with him around, as if his positive mood was rubbing off on her.

"It's not every day you see someone with a name like Steven Universe, either." (Y/n) slightly chuckled as she spoke. "That's actually a really nice name, I'm not a fan of mine. It's really generic, there's nothing special about it."

"What? No way!" Steven seemed surprised at the fact she didn't think highly of her name. "It's super cool! Besides, even if it was just an ordinary name, it doesn't mean you're ordinary."

(Y/n) just stared at Steven. He was right, but (Y/n) really didn't think that highly of herself, because she had never really liked herself. She despised the fact that she existed, of course, though, she didn't bring this up. After all, it'd be weird to mention the fact that you strongly dislike yourself to someone you hardly even know.

The two seemed to talk for a while, (Y/n) becoming slightly less uncomfortable as time went on. Eventually, though, Steven had to leave, because someone from his house had called him inside.

"Ah, shoot, I gotta go," he said, looking up towards his home then back at (Y/n). "It was nice talking to you."

(Y/n) nodded. "Yeah, same here."

Steven headed inside, and (Y/n) sat there on the beach for a little while, starting to feel sad again. She liked talking to him, but she was too nervous to ask him to be friends. Then again, she had just met him, she hardly even knew him, maybe she should wait longer before asking him if he'd like to be her friend.

She just sighed. She had been out here for about half an hour, and she was ready to go home.

She slowly stood up, wiped off the sand from her clothes, and slowly walked home, once again trying to avoid as many people as she possibly could.

(A/n) it's been a while, and I apologize. updates on this story are not regular, but I do want to try my best to finish this story the way I have it planned out

I don't believe there are enough Steven Universe x-readers where the reader is a normal human, and where there's interaction that isn't immediately like "I have a crush on this person uwu" as soon as the characters meet, because that isn't realistic and I don't really like when that happens

this update took a while, and was being written on and off, and I went a while without working on this before I went ahead and wrote the rest, so if you notice if something is a bit off, that may have been where I stopped working on it for a while

again, character interaction is not my string suit, so apologies if any of it is awkward. I really hope you guys are enjoying this so far, haha ^^