Trapped By My Fears

Rushing Waves

The pounding in my ears was loud. All I could hear was the sound of rushing waves. Crushing against my skull. Everything around me was white. My body felt like it was floating. When I tried to move, I felt like I was thrashing around. Opening my mouth, I tried calling out for help. Salty water rushed into my lungs and I choked. As I thrashed around I saw a bit of color coming from the surface. I swam towards the light but instead of drawing closer to the source of my freedom it seemed that the light was getting further and further away. Another silent scream tried to leave my lips as the color slowly turned into a blurry array of darkness.

A ragged scream ripped from my throat as I shot upright. I looked around frantically. 'Where am I?' Was the first thought that came to my mind as I gasped for air. It took a few minutes but eventually I was able to calm down enough to register that I was in my room. I was safe and in my bed. I was out of harm's way.

Slowly, I pulled my legs into myself as I tried to think. 'Why was this dream coming back now?' I wasn't given much time to think before I heard my door slowly open. "Isla? I heard your screams. Are you alright my love?" Squinting at the light that crept into my room, I lifted my head to listen to my mother speak. "Yeah...I... Just..." A sigh pressed from my lips as my mother sat on the edge of my bed.

"Take your time my love. I won't force you to speak if you don't want too." My mother said quietly as she placed a hand upon my knee. A smile graced my lips as I laced my fingers with her own. "The dreams... They're back mama. I was under the water again. I tried swimming to the surface but I wasn't quick enough. The sound of the waves crashing around me." In that moment, as I felt something warm and salty cascade down my cheek, did I realize that I had started crying.

"Oh my love. Sh sh sh. It's okay." My mother pulled me into a hug. The comforting smell of cinnamon and honey filled my nose as I embraced my mother. She must have been getting ready to work in the café beneath our house again. "Since you have had such a bad dream let's get you some nice warm tea and pancakes. Then you can get a nice shower. I'll push your shift back in the café till noon so then you have time to readjust." Another smile spread across my face as I held my mom tighter. "Thank you mama. I don't know what I would do without you."

My mother laughed and pulled back to look at me. "You would laze around in bed all day and watch TV." She said before pressing a kiss to my nose. "Now I'll be going lovey. Take your time. You know where to find me if you want to talk more." With that, my mother was gone to start her day. While I was left to fall back into my pillows and think about why those dreams had started plaguing me again.