Escape [Discontinued]

Burn Out (1)

-Hinata POV-

I slammed the door to my room, sinking onto the floor I wiped the tears streaming from my eyes and the ones forming. My breath was heavy and I hated myself for crying.

My dad yelled at me, insulting me for being "dumb" and "useless". He had seen my report card after I wasn't even ready to show him. I knew that I had done badly, I can't focus in class.
The only thing I can think about is, flying away. Somehow leaving this place that has treated me horribly.

I know I don't have the guts or money to do any of that.

It seemed nice to think about though.

I wiped the tears forming and stood up, climbing into bed I pulled the covers over myself.

I imagined a better place than this.

♡♡♡

The next morning I woke up, wishing I hadn't. But that's just a casual thought.

I took a shower and got dressed. My dad had left for work and my mom said goodbye to me as I left the house.

Back to that shitty place I hate. It feels like I have chains tied to my wrist forcing me to write whatever the hell I didn't need to learn. I feel so trapped.

I like volleyball, but everyone says I need more practice.. it sucks. Why can't I be good at anything?

I don't need anything.

♡♡♡

The end of the day came, I changed into my gym clothes and headed to the court like I did every week. It wasn't as exciting as it used to be.

Maybe I'm a burn out.

I sighed as I walked in, my teammates doing stretches and some playing already. I placed my bag down and drank some water. I knew I didn't wanna be there.

I wish I didn't lose my happy place.

Sugawara came up to greet me, he ruffled my hair and gave a hello. Then he must've seen the bags under my eyes, because he asked, "Hey, are you okay?" I replied, "I'm fine, just tired." "Y-You don't have to play if you can't.." I didn't want to look lazy so I decided I'd play. "It's alright," I responded.

I hoped today would be fun, I keep on waiting for something to happen. Something exciting, for my life to turn for the better.
I'm a first year, I can't burn out now.

Kageyama walked up to me as per usual and asked me if he could toss to me. I nodded and he seemed off looking at me. He never really understood it when someone wasn't okay.

Tsukkishima passed as I slowly walked to the court, he tilted his head looking at me. "Shortie, what's wrong?" That question surprised me, coming from him of all people. "I-I.. stayed up all night studying?" I excused. He didn't buy it, I could tell. But he walked away in suspicion.

Kageyama by now was super confused, he stared at me for a second. "What? Just give me a toss..!" he flinched and nodded.

♡♡♡

I couldn't hit most of those tosses. My hand just couldn't do it. I either jumped too high or too low, too slow or fast. I felt the feeling of fun fading away, and my stomache dropping as I grew angry at myself.

The ball hit the ground on the same side of the court, I missed again.

I sighed and looked at my hand after I landed, annoyed with myself. I looked up at Kageyama, he was angry.

"Why can't you hit any of them?!" He yelled, "What?? I'm just tired today!" "Yeah right! You just don't wanna play!!" he stepped forward and I stepped back. I was obviously scared, but also angry.

"You've been this way forever already! God, you're so boring!!" My eyes widened and my heartbeat was starting to increase. "It's not my fault!! And that's none of your business!" I yelled back. Our teammates were looking and Sugawara and Daichi we're starting to walk towards us.

"Fuck, why don't you just quit the team if you're gonna be like this?!" He screeched, obvious pain in his voice. I was in shock, thinking I should, but knowing he had no right to say that to me. I didn't know what to say or do.

I held back tears and I didn't control what I did, I pulled back my arm and slapped him. His face turned with my hand and I wiped a forming turn. He was angry now.

He held the side of his face as he was about to punch mine, I held my arms up to protect myself. Daichi grabbed his arm before he could punch me. I swear my heart was beating out of chest, my legs were shaking.. I didn't know how to deal with these kinds of things and actually fight back.

Daichi started to yell at both of us, I couldn't make out a word he said. I glanced at Sugawara, who looked saddened by the fight. I know he tries to keep us calm, tries to get us to be friends.

Not all of it works out.

I thought to myself, I wanted to say sorry to him.

I couldn't.

Before Daichi could scold me, I ran out of the gym, grabbing my bag. I didn't care to change I just wanted to leave.

I heard people yelling my name, and I looked back for a second. Kageyama had this look on his face, regret.. I knew I should've apologized right aways, but now I can't.

I don't want to see that again.

I stumbled into my house. My mom was out and my dad was at work. I kicked off my shoes and ran into my room. Heartbeating fast.

I sighed loudly when I realized I left my bike at school. I pulled at my hair, hating myself even more.

I quickly changed out of my gym clothes, pulling a sweater over my head.

I layed in bed again, curling up. I didn't wanna cry.

I had a nervous feeling in my stomache. I felt like.. running. Like today.. finally something's going to change.

I sat up, and took a deep breath.
I thought for a moment, should I leave?

I stood up and walked to the washroom. I washed my face, then stared at myself in the mirror. "Are you really going to do it?"

"Maybe."