All the things she couldn't say...

i see

i watched a movie today
it was hella gay
kept pausing
to laugh
at the gay boy
with the heart
too big for his chest
a raw bleeding wound
- an outie heart-
love a boy
with a heart of broken glass
piercing through
to pierce
the outie heart

i watched a movie today
it was hella gay
kept pausing
on the boys face
and laughing
' cause it was
so
fucking
familiar

i see you
little carrie
i want to say
i see you
with your too big heart
loving everyone that isn't yourself

i see you
with your bright sad eyes
and awkward laughter

i see you
with your easily bruised heart,
thinking you're incapable of being loved

i saw a movie today
it was hella gay
and i couldn't stop seeing myself
is that what therapists mean
when they say
seeing yourself
is the first step
to loving yourself
?

well,
i must be doing something wrong
because i wanted to punch little me in the face
and snarl about how pathetic i was

and after all these years,
i see a gay version of you
and i still want to climb into your arms
even if it leaves me
bleeding on the floor

little me anyways

she loved you too

......

Author's note: The movie I'm watching is Those People on Netflix. I identify so hard with Charlie, it's fucking ridiculous.

'Everybody has a Sebastian.'

Love from your favourite slytherin,
carmen xx