Refusing the Inevitable

t w o

By the time my breathing was back to normal, I was in the backseat of Maize's car, the roof down with my hair flowing behind me.

In the front seats sat Bailey and Maize, talking about things that seemed unimportant, though, perhaps I wouldn't know. Their words seemed incoherent to me, like a low buzz in the far distance.

When we arrived at my house, we pulled up in the driveway which was able to fit up to three cars, though, for now, remained empty as my mother and father were still at work, and my younger brother was attending an after-school club, and would later be dropped off at home by one of his friends' parents.

Maize put on the car's brakes and turned to face me, asking softly, "Do you want us to come in? Keep you company?"

I shook my head no, "I'll be fine," I told her, "I think I just need to lie down. I'm exhausted,"

"Of course," she nodded, "just call or text if you need anything," Bailey nodded in agreement.

"I will," I smiled and left her car, sliding my bag onto my shoulder. By the time I reached my door, I had already heard the car leave as the engine revved, so I didn't bother looking back as I shut the door behind me.

I make my way up to my room and quickly feel my good mood dampen. I change out of my clothes, slipping on a loose top and bottoms and climb into my bed. There, I begin to hyperventilate.

Everyone in my English class had seen me break down over something so incredibly insignificant.

They probably hate me; think I'm a coward.

And I have to face them all again tomorrow.

I lay on my back, feeling my tears soak my pillow and hair as they roll down my face. I'd tried so hard to keep anyone from knowing, from anyone seeing a tiny glimpse of who I actually am, behind the fake smiles, the make up and clothes. And now they'll see me as a freak. I'll no longer fit in. People will actually stare at me instead of me imagining it.

Everything I had worried about will come true.

I stay lying on my bed, allowing tears to air-dry, not risking my face swelling up even more.

After a while, I hear the door open and close. It must be Luke. I sigh and climb down from my bed, sneaking into the bathroom and looking at my face in the mirror.

I groan as I see my swollen cheeks, a distinct puffiness that would automatically point out that I hand been crying. I dabbed my cheeks with a bath towel, drying away the rest of the tears before making my way into my room to get my concealer. It would have to do for now.

~~~

By the time I had finished applying my make up yet again, and attempted to cheer myself up, I made my way downstairs, noticing that, now, both my parents were home as well.

Lucas ran up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He squealed out of excitement as I gave my mum and dad a wave, which they both returned, a tired smile on their face. Another long day at work, I guess.

"Hey, Lucas! How was school?"

"It was good! We learned about times tables and the Romans and my teacher told me I was at the top of the class!"

"Wow! You're so smart!" I tell in over exaggerated excitement.

"Lucas, go wash up for dinner," my father calls and Lucas runs away, laughing and shouting, "okay!" as my mother handed me some plates to set out onto the dining room table.