audacity // kryoz

fifteen

I had a crush on Anna Kelter.

Fuck me.

I started to panic. I've only known her for like 2 days. Why the hell do I have a crush on her? I mean, yeah she is really pretty and it pained me when I saw her cry, but does that really mean that I have a crush on her?

I sigh deeply. Yeah, it does. I quickly take a puff of my Juul.

My phone buzzed a couple of times consecutively. I should probably check it, in case it's important. I sighed then leaned over to pick it up from where it sat on the floor. Jay was texting me. Even though we live in the same house, he still texts me to avoid having to get up. He was asking me if I wanted to record Rainbow. I looked up at my monitor. I really need to edit this vid, it's supposed to go up tomorrow. 

I shrug, I'm editing r6 footage anyways, why the hell not. I'll only record for like 2 hours max so that gives me enough time to procrastinate and still get the video done. Without responding to the message, I place my phone on my desk and save the project in Premiere. I open discord to see Jay and Grizzy in a call together. I joined the call, deafened then began to set my OBS up. Once everything was recording, I undefended to hear someone join the call. I glance at discord again. It was Matt.

"Alright, so which one of you fucks is gonna host?" Jay says through a mouthful of food as my game is launching. Oh shit, that reminds me that I haven't eaten yet. Eh, it's alright I'm not that hungry. I'll eat later.

***

It was match point. I had died a while ago. Grizzy accidentally tk'd me because Jay locked him out after he spawn peeked and shot me trying to shoot Jay. Suddenly, Matt ran straight into an enemy and died immediately. We started laughing but I was now spectating Grizzy clutch a 1 v 4. I felt my desk softly vibrate when my phone buzzed. I stopped paying attention to the game on my monitor and picked up my phone.

To my surprise, it was a text from Anna. For some reason, I lost my breath for a moment. I honestly wasn't expecting her to text me back. I unlocked my phone to see the full message. She asked me what I was doing. I started to type out that I was recording but then I remembered she doesn't know that I'm a Youtuber. I quickly got rid of it.

To be quite honest, I kind of want to keep her in the dark about my channel. I'm not necessarily ashamed of my job, I just don't want her to think of me any differently. I desperately want her to see me as John and not 'Kryoz'. After so many friends have told me that I should expect people to treat me differently or expect people to want something from me, it was really refreshing for her to treat me like a regular person. After all, that is who I am but some people forget that sometimes.

Thinking on my feet, I quickly but nervously typed out 'nothing much'. My finger was hovering over the send button as I was hesitant to send it. Would she call my bluff? Does she actually know about my channel but don't say anything? I suddenly tuned back into the game and the discord call when I was shot in the head by the enemy team. Had that round already ended so long ago that we were in a different match already? Shit. I don't want them questioning me later, I barely have answers for myself. I hastily press send and toss my phone back onto my desk just before I start to feign anger.

"What the fuck?!" I say in mock outrage.

I hoped it was convincing enough.

***

That round had passed and another had started. I was in the middle of reinforcing a wall when I feel my desk vibrate softly again. I'm hoping that it's Anna, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I take my right hand off of my mouse to reach for my phone. Lucky for me it was Anna. I quickly unlocked my phone and read the message. Holy shit. She was asking me if I wanted to come over for lunch. The answer will always be yes no matter what but she actually wanted to spend time with me? I can't believe it.

"Guys, I gotta go" I hurridly say before leaving the game. I hear a couple of words but there were cut off as I quickly leave the discord call and stop my recording.  I save the recording before turning my monitor off. About to stand from my chair before I remember that I have to reply.

I type out 'even if i had eaten i would go'. I read over it again. Shit, that sounds bad. I can't send that. I don't want to sound too eager and come off as creepy but I also don't want to seem like I don't want to go. Ugh. I sigh again. I delete it all and try again. This time I type out 'luckily i haven't eaten yet. what r we eating?'. I read it over. I give a slight nod of approval and hit send before racing out of my office with my phone in hand.

I'm back up in my room in no time. I toss my phone onto my bed just before I pull on a random pair of black jeans I had lying around. I hop around my room trying to pull up my pants while trying to get to the bathroom.

I make it with my pants on and zipped. I look at myself in the mirror quickly. Eh, I look acceptable. I look down at the color block hoodie I was wearing. I should probably put an actual shirt on. I go back to my room and pull out a short-sleeved red button-down shirt with leaves on it from my closet. I look at it briefly before pulling the hoodie off of me and replacing it with the shirt. I then push my feet into the vans I had thrown off my feet earlier.

I pick my phone up from my unmade bed to feel it vibrate slightly. I look at it to see another text from Anna. It read, 'well it seems that i don't rlly have any food to cook with so we're gonna have to go shopping'. Just as I was typing a response I received another text from her, 'just come over and we can walk there'. I hastily typed, 'ok' and sent it immediately.

I bounded down the stairs with my car keys in hand. My heart was racing and I had no idea why I was in such a rush but all I know is that I love this feeling.

A/N

thx sm for 5k reads. so many ppl r reading this crappy book but i appreciate it sm. thx for sticking around and dealing with my terrible updating schedule. i love u guys v much. until next time. love u.