audacity // kryoz

twenty-two

It wasn't long before the music ended but we were still slowly spinning.

I hated to ruin this moment but I had to. I was getting too comfortable, "John, the music stopped,"

"I know," John says lowly, a moment before looking down at me and letting me go.

As we stepped back from each other, I noticed that we had wandered into the living room. I guess I didn't even realize that we were genuinely moving across my apartment.

John was staring at me rather intensely and it made me a bit uncomfortable. I felt myself squirm a bit under his gaze. Fortunately, the microwave decided to beep at the right moment. The beep scared me a bit and made John direct his gaze from me to the microwave. He began to move towards the kitchen which suddenly made me remember that I had something for him.

I gasp, "I just remembered!" I say as John is placing the plastic container on the counter and reaching for a fork. I see his face contort into a confused look but instead of asking he begins to shovel food into his mouth.

I leave the living room and walk into my bedroom. I begin to dig around my desk. I haven't cleaned my desk out yet so it's still a complete mess. I'd like to think it was organized chaos but I think we all know it wasn't. It took me a few moments but I finally found what I was looking for. It was one of my numerous sketch journals. I had to check the date on the front to see if it was the right one but once I was sure I walked out to join John in the kitchen.

His eyes went straight to the book I had in my hands and his brows furrowed. I started to lift myself into one of the stools but flinched as the cold metal came into contact with my bare legs. I decided to instead place the book on the island and stand next to him.

"So you remember that day that we hung out in the park and lost Baz, right?" I say looking at him while he was chewing.

He nods heavily while I see his eyes sparkling with memories.

"You remember Baz barreling straight into me?"

He again nods heavily before stuffing another forkful into his mouth.

Starting to flip through the notebook, I begin to talk, "Well, I finished the drawing that I was doing before he ran into me and I thought you might wanna see it,"

I finally turn to the page that had the corner folded over and pushed the notebook closer to John. 

I start to wring my hands as he stares at the page. I don't know why but I really wanted him to like it. I was honestly gonna leave it unfinished but after staring at the page for a while I decided to finish it. It took me way longer than I expected because I had to go back to the park a few times but I think it turned out well. I ended up coloring it in with watercolors since I thought they would look super good. I liked how it was morbid yet beautiful. Like although it was dying it was still somehow full of life. It was so contradictory but it also made sense. It was honestly one of the best things I've done in a while.

After staring at it for what felt like forever, John began to speak, "Woah. This is really good, like really really good,"

I started to smile, I'm glad he likes it. "Can I have this?" he asks me.

I shrug, "As long as you help me finish the cleaning you interrupted when you scared me,"

He smiles, "As long as you let me take some leftovers home,"

I return his smile, "Be my guest, it's cluttering my fridge anyways,"

John claps his hands and nearly shouts, "Let's get to work!"