healing

trauma

this chapter deals with trauma, and again i am no expert or professional i'm just trying to help based of my experiences!

trauma, like depression, is different for everyone. though whatever you went through or whatever happened to you, it is important to accept. this is extremely hard to do, especially in some cases where the person has been targeted in one way or another by someone else. (i'm trying to stay away from using trigger words in this book, if this gets confusing at any stage i'm happy to explain through dm) trust me i know how hard it is to accept what has happened to oneself. it takes a lot of time and a lot of patience but one day you will let go of this fear, this anger and you will in turn be much more happier in your life. now, this may not work for everyone and as i'm speaking from my experience which thankfully was not physically permanent as i know it is for some but it still does take a toll mentally for me. it has taken me a while to learn to try and cope with the flashbacks and feelings of being trapped and i am still learning but with time it has gotten better.
through my experience here are some things that i have found helped me :

- throwing away clothes, items, anything that reminds you of this person or event
   not having these items around helps you clear your space and not be reminded of your experience.

- meditation
   now i'm not saying sit down for hours each day and just calm yourself (although you can do that if you wish). i mean just trying to incorporate deep breathes and calming thoughts into your everyday. if you take just ten minutes a day or even five, to listen to a guided meditation or just to slow your breath and be aware of your surroundings, you will, in turn, be so much calmer. your anxiety rates will go down and you won't be so stressed all the time. one thing i like to do is unclench my jaw and take my tongue off the roof of my mouth. clenching your jaw and having your tongue on the roof of your mouth is a common thing that we do when we're anxious or stressed and we don't even realise it!

- finding a hobby or something to focus yourself on
   recently, i've been getting into magick. now, i know that some will not agree with me and will think it's all bullshit and i worship the devil but just to clarify i do not worship the devil or satan in fact i believe there is a higher being but i do not refer to him/her/them as anything. please do not come after me and tell me that what i'm doing is wrong because i respect you and your religious decisions so please respect mine. now finding a hobby or something to focus on, this could be something like writing or reading or drawing or playing games or taking up a new sport or even getting into a religion or learning more about your current religion. there are so many things that you can do to distract yourself and make yourself feel better.

- self care
   doing simple things each day to take care of yourself can really make a difference. exfoliate your face and body in the shower, try out a new perfume, buy a new outfit, eat healthy food and try to exercise. these are only a few of the many things you can do to care for yourself because once you begin to care for yourself, you will start to understand yourself better and feel better equipped to deal with your emotions.

-focusing on life's simple pleasures
  life is full of wonderful things, some of them can be big events whereas others are small and often go unnoticed. feeling the morning breeze against your skin is something that i find so wonderful, it really makes me feel alive because by noticing this small thing, i find so many other things that make me feel good too. focusing on life's smaller blessings really opens up your mind and makes you grateful for everything you have. it's one small step into changing your perspective on life for the better.

- talking to people
now whether this be a close friend/s, family member/s or a therapist, any form of talking about your trauma will give you some release. the first time you talk about it will be terribly painful and hard but it has to get bad before it gets good. you have been through hell and back and deserve to have peace in your life and expressing your feelings is going to make the world of a difference. if you don't feel comfortable in verbally speaking, a good alternative is journalling or simply writing down your feelings. this is something private and confidential which helps you express your emotions because from personal experience, the worst thing to do is bottle it up inside.