The Inevitable: Johnlock Fanfiction

Please Remember Me

POV: Watson

Trying to contain the sobs, I clamp down my lips, letting out a shuddery breath through my nose. It's back to the start, I'm back at the same place I was years ago, the same plain and soul-crushingly grey flat I had before Sherlock. In the midst of everything, I forgot how truly empty life is without him.

Am I ever going to learn to stop hoping in vain? Will I ever stop fruitlessly fantasizing about events that will never happen? It should've been so obvious, so obvious that he really only had me around as entertainment. I never mattered to him, and I know that now for certain because he didn't even move when I told him I would be leaving for good. He didn't care for me enough to protest when I left or say anything at all when I told him I loved him earlier. His face was perfectly blank, not even showing the slightest trace of emotion after I bore my heart to him. 

It's not his fault, I tell myself. Hands trembling slightly, I grasp the glass of wine tightly. He warned me in the very beginning that he had no interest in any relationship, and that he was married to his work. It's my fault for choosing the one person that could never love me. Then I found someone else, but all it takes is one word from Sherlock to get me to run to him like a loyal puppy. It's all gone. Everything I lived for in the past years is gone. Mary. Sherlock.

What I didn't realize when I married her was I already belonged to Sherlock, that my mind and soul was addicted to him, that there will always be a part of me that needs him. How ridiculous it was of me to think that anyone could replace that desperate longing for him.

Ring ring ring

I glance over to my phone ringing loudly. Mycroft, the screen displays. I don't bother to pick it up. It's probably just Mycroft wanting to comment on that display in 221B. That goddamned man knows everything about Sherlock and me because of those bloody cameras.

Staring blankly at the wall, I take another shaky gulp of the wine. The sweet and bitter taste washing down my throat is comforting.

"Dr. Watson." A controlled voice says, opening the door to the kitchen where I sat..

"Let me guess, you saw the fight from the cameras and wanted to come to torment me?"

"I disabled those cameras yesterday. There was no reason to keep you two on level 5 surveillance. Though I suspect the fight you mentioned may be connected to this."

I tense up, turning swiftly to look at him. His normally still and calm face is slightly distraught. "What happened?" I ask anxiously, setting down the wine.

"Sherlock texted me about an hour ago, something about meeting him at Barts. I arrived to find him distressed. He was in the middle of explaining what happened, and then suddenly fainted. I've taken him to the emergency room, but Dr. Watson, I assure you there is something else going on. In all my years of knowing him, I have never seen him faint like this. He wasn't dehydrated and nor did he suffer malnutrition. I fear this is something far worse," he quickly explains, pacing around the room.

"So, how does this concern me?" I ask, straightening my back.

Mycroft arches an eyebrow, frowning slightly. "You are of course Sherlock's best friend, but here is what I found on the table." He reaches into his pocket and brings out a clean sheet of white paper, and only two neat but distinct words are present.

John Watson

"Why would he write your name?"

I blink at the paper, confused. "Haven't the faintest."

Mycroft sighs, withdrawing the paper and pulling out his phone. "I thought so, now please accompany me back to the hospital. I went to great lengths to find you here since you weren't picking up your mobile. Fortunately, I have not yet disabled the tracking devices I implemented in your phone."