One's Greatest Fall

Special Chapter

A Letter to Jamie

To the most beautiful and bravest soul that I have ever met,

Jamie.. I know you.. deep inside you are laughing at me while reading this but that's okay as long as I can make you feel the 'sweet bones' I have within me.

First, I really want to tell you that I Googled ways on how to be romantic. Most of the answers naman, nagawa ko na. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and whatsoever Date. Watch movies, even though sometimes I hate it when you're the one to pick what to watch kasi you always choose those lonely, sad and heartbreaking movies. How in the world you'd like that?! Give you flowers, and Jamie, I love it when you stare at them like it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. It's how I look at you every second you're in my sight, Jamie. To dance with you, I am no dancer like you but I'd do the most unlikeliest thing I could ever do just for you to be so close to me. Take you to church, I love it when we enter His home together.. it's like how I picture myself marrying the most beautiful bride and that's you, my love. To introduce you to my family.. and that's been my favorite part, tangi. You being close to my mom and dad and to my kuya. My heart literally wants to get out of my chest whenever I see you enjoying my family's company. I can see a better future of us with that, tangi. Lastly, to write a letter, and that's exactly what I'm doing. It maybe an oldschool but classic romance can never be old. And writing for you seems like it's one different world for me where I can tell you everything what's on my mind.

I know for sure by this time that you already know how much I've waited for 'us' to finally happen. I have waited long enough and when I thought I should stop.. I just can't seem to find a reason to give up. I might have put limits just for me not to cross the lines because I have respected the love you had for her. I have respected the love she's given to you. I've witnessed how you both fell in love and that's bittersweet. Naging masaya ako para sa pag-ibig nyo kahit alam ko sa sarili ko na nasasaktan ako.. pero sabi ko noon sa sarili ko that as long as you're happy and she's taking good care of you, I will stay silently in love with you until it's gone. But that never happened. I never stopped loving you even by then. And as I love you, my heart grows and learnt every step of the way and that when you love it endures all kind of pain.

I swear.. I have never stepped any lines while you're still taken. Pinigilan ko. Even when you got your heart broken? I have no intention to put you in a dilemma kasi I just want to be there with you as a friend which you needed the most that time. Until I had to make a choice for myself. Because the fate is already giving me chance, eh. I took the risk. Unti-unti, I started to show you the love I have kept inside me for a very long time. Alam ko mahihirapan ko.. Since I know that when your heart broke, you also started to build a wall around it. You know I'm one of the triple tower and great wall, right? Dinaig mo ako doon, Jamie.

Pero ano ba naman iyong mag-stay ako at subukan ko, 'di ba? So I stayed. And to my luck, I've become your constant wall. Hanggang sa dumating na yung time na nararamdaman ko na kung paano mahalin ng isang Ysabel Jamie Jimenez. Being loved by you is like conquering a new paraiso, an oblivion and a safe haven. Thank you, Jamie, for letting me show the love I have for you. For letting me love everything about you. And for opening up your heart for me.

Minsan, gumigising ako na hindi makapaniwala na nasa tabi kita. After waking up, I'd go pinching myself if this is all true. That.. finally, Jamie's mine. Really mine. Hindi ako sanay.. Hindi ako sanay na minamahal mo ako pero hindi ako magrereklamo. Love me all you want, Jamie. Hindi ako sanay na gumigising ako with your text saying 'Good morning' kahit minsan magkatabi na tayo or nasa kabilang room lang ako. You're so weird but I love you. I'm really not used to being asked by someone kung anong nangyari sa buong araw ko with so much interest, no one ever did that until you happened. Hindi na rin kita magets minsan.. Hindi ko alam kung inaasar mo ba ako or you're just really doing what I asked you to do, to text and call me everytime, kaya kahit pati breakfast nagtatanong ka kahit magkasabay lang naman tayong kumain.. Sa sobrang hindi ako sanay, minsan I find myself smiling like crazy for an hour or two. At kapag nagagalit ka kapag hindi ako nakakapagreply agad.. know that I am always waiting for the next words you're about to tell me.

I've been a wall for everyone to lean on but eversince you started to lean on me? There are no one I would want to lean on me again rather than you. Only you. I have never gave too much attention with my phone until you, Jamie, came into my life. Kapag hindi kita kasama, it's the only way I can make myself feel that you're not that too far away from me.

And regarding to your reklamo that my hands are sweaty.. I'm an athlete! I sweat a lot! Don't be so maarte with that. But.. still, thank you for holding my hands even if you complain alot. Thank you for holding my hands like you're holding the whole world. I know I should be the one protecting you and I'm doing it naman.. Pero whenever you hold me or whenever you touch me.. it calms every bit of me kasi I feel like I'm being protected by someone who's stronger than me.

Tangi, I know there are still alot of things in the past that can get in the way but this much I promise you, I will always be there to constantly remind you that they will always stay in the past and will remain in the past. I will hold you tight and will help you escape all the uncertainties of our past. I will not let go of you, for you have been giving me the happiness that my heart have always longed for.

I'm happy we made it. I made you fall for me. I broke everything that holds you back from before.. And now you're mine. You're here.

Sabi mo nga.. I don't have any sweet bones in my body but I will do my best to love you and make you feel my love in every best way that I can, tangi.

This is the first letter I have ever written for someone.. for you and it's definitely not gonna be the last. This will never be the last, Jamie. We both have all the time in the world.. I'm spending it with you so don't get tired of me 'cause I won't ever get tired of fighting for you.

I love you, Jamie. Until we both descry forever. I want only you to be with me until forever. I can not wait for the time I can finally scream your name as Ysabel Jamie Jimenez-De Leon. I can't wait to change your last name into mine. Ysabel Jamie De Leon..

All the love from the captain who wears Jersey number 14, Isabel Beatriz Paras-De Leon.

👣💜👣

a/n
This is not an official chapter. Special chapter lang 'to for the next chapter's reference. Ito na po yung letter na kasama nung bulaklak na bigay ni Beatriz kay Jamie.

And..

Happiest birthday to my girlfriend/my jowa! Isabel Beatriz.. I pray only for all the best things, Beadel, because you deserve everything that's best! I love you.

Thank you for the late night talk, love. 💜💙