Behind His Hazel Eyes

blood and ballpoint pens

a/n: trigger warning. this chapter contains homophobia and bullying. there will be detailed events. read with caution.

it was early in the morning, the smell of cigarettes and pancakes swarmed about the way residents. the older of the two was sleeping whilst the younger cooked breakfast. of course he'd wake him up if his older brother didn't wake up before he had the chance. but right now, it was quiet.

* * *
gerard's p.o.v.

i was standing in darkness. just... there. in a void of nothingness while i heard whispers and screams.. a creature reaching out for me and attaching to me before...

"gee? hey, wake up."

thank fucking god.
mikey's voice woke me up, besides me having another nightmare, i slept pretty well.

"sorry... i was going to wake up earlier today but i just..." i let out a soft sigh, "nightmares again, mikey." i said simply.

"again?" he asked, "here, maybe breakfast will help? i'll get your medications and you can eat." mikey smiled

i nodded and got up, mikey now going to the bathroom to get my medication, i hated taking them... but they're supposed to make me "better". i threw on something dark and menacing, something to scare the other kids at school. i like being alone like that.

* * *
i walk downstairs sighing, sitting down at the table, mikey running downstairs and handing my my medication and tossing me a water bottle, "i hope you're okay with pancakes for breakfast."

i nod, "i just want the school year to be over." mikey laughed, "of course you do."

i smile and take the pills, then i began to eat, mikey knew how to cook pretty well.

* * *
mikey drove me to school, like he always does. of course he met up with his friends, which i have none of.

i trudge to the art room, seeing kids whisper and cower as my heavy biker boots echo against the cool tile. i hold onto my sketch book, the red ballpoint pen in my hand. i sigh as i enter the classroom, seeing other kids walk inside. the only empty seat was beside me, no one ever sat there. that's how i liked it. the teacher was late, as fucking always, but with a student.

"good morning class. today we have a new classmate, frank iero. he's transferring classes after some... altercations with his last class." he spoke.

i wasn't really paying attention, to be honest. i was too busy drawing.

this so called frank iero kid sat right beside me, putting his boots up on the desk, what the fuck did he think this class was? relaxation class or some shit?

* * *
frank's p.o.v.

i glance at the dude sitting beside me, so that's the guy who's got so many fucking rumors about him? he doesn't seem like much of a challenge.

"hi there." i smirk, trying to look at what this freak was drawing. the only thing i got from him was a glare and not a single word back.

"not much of a talker?"

i try to poke at him, just wanting to hear a response from this guy, "what's wrong bro, too scared to talk?" i scoffed, as if in the blink of an eye the black haired male stood up with his things and stormed out of the classroom. i just shrugged and leaned back, the teacher sighing.

* * *

for some reason i looked for the freak during lunch. i didn't find him so i roamed around the halls, hearing talking around the corner, i paused and peered around discreetly.

"hey there..." a voice said, that voice belonged to trevor, the star quarterback. great. someone fucked with him and now he's pissed.

a soft voice came from another guy, it was the freak from earlier, "trevor fuck off... i didn't do anything." he cowered as he was shoved against the black lockers, a groan coming from the guy.

"c'mon gerard. don't play dumb. you know you're the problem, you fucking fag." the quarterback pressed as he grabbed the collar of gerard's shirt, i quickly hide behind the lockers, not wanting to be seen.

* * *

third person p.o.v.

"trevor, please not again." gerard pleaded, "i can't keep going h-home with fucking bruises and shit... m-mikey'll kill you..." he said, trying to scare the jock.

trevor scoffed, "what, your little fuck buddy? it's disgusting that you probably fuck your own brother."

"it's disgusting t-that you b-b-believe that." gerard spat, his confidence being forced out of him once trevor threw a punch towards his lower abdomen.

the dark haired male instantly fell to his knees, softly pleading for it to stop, or for his body to give up.

"come on pussy. too scared to take me on?"

trevor grabbed a fistful of the pale boy's rather messy hair and shoved his face against the lockers, "who let you live on?" he asked, "i bet your parents think you're a mistake." he growled, grabbing the boy's arm and holding it behind him as he pulled him away from the lockers and slammed him back into them, blood trickling down the pale flesh of the smaller.

a soft exhale escaping gerard before the jock stood up, kicking him over and over before walking away, laughing.

frank's eyes widened at the sight, did he really just watch that whole thing go down without stopping it? of course, he couldn't just help the so-called "freak". he didn't want to be that guy.

* * *

gerard's p.o.v.

i lie there pondering what the fuck i did to deserve being beaten every day. was it my hair? my face? my art? my views on certain things? my sexuality? my mental state? who i am in general? yeah... probably all of those things.

after waiting for trevor to leave, i slowly sit up, looking at the brand new pack of ballpoint pens that had fallen out of my bag. i wipe the blood off of my face and pick them up.

"at least i draw with red pen.. that way if any blood gets on the paper, it looks similar." i sigh, picking the rest of my belongings up and walking into the bathroom, looking at the damage.

"he could've killed me if he wanted to, he's the pussy." i scoff, putting my hood up and walking out of the school.

"sorry mikey. you'll be riding home alone today..." i murmur to myself before texting mikey to tell him i was heading home early.

if i could i'd beat the shit out of trevor, make his head hurt too. but i'm not that strong... and of course i'd never hurt another kid.

i'm not like them.

i don't want to be like them.

i just want to clean up this blood and draw.

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a/n: how was the first chapter? i'm not entirely sure if i like it or not. :3

1136 words