PAPER CROWN [EUPHORIA]

one

triggers included in this story throughout are – drug use, mention of drugs/alcohol, death, blood, depression, abuse, sex, self-harm, alcohol use, suicidal thoughts, drug overdose, profanity, guns, pregnancy and abortion.

"Did you cum?"

The three words Rio could not bare to hear at all. If that question had to be asked then obviously, obviously that person did not cum at all. Rio thought that much was obvious, that the guys she fucked knew she didn't cum, but asked anyway because they wanted their egos boosted. So she replied how she usually did, murmuring a quick 'yes' and put back on her clothes.

Fucking random girls and guys didn't fill the empty void Rio had inside but she did it anyway. Taking a lot of drugs and drinking alcohol in no way helped either but she still did that too. It made her forget all the bad shit in her life, if only briefly, but it made her forget. She would do anything to ease the pain for a little while and she did. Anything to let her pretend everything was going better than it actually was.

Not even sparing a glance at the guy fast asleep in his bed, Rio made her way out of his house and began aimlessly walking in the street. The silence in the streets was rather soothing to her, the only sound being her footsteps. She had no idea where she was going, only knowing the last place she wanted to go was home. No doubt that was where she would end up anyway.

If only Rio had the courage, and more importantly the money, to actually leave and run away from home. The thought had crossed her mind more than once and on several occasions she'd attempted to leave. She was ten the first time, a duffel bag in hand and absolutely no money to fend her way with. Her mom had given her a rude awakening, asking drunkenly, "Where are you running to? You've got nowhere to go. No one would want you."

You'd think that would've stopped Rio the first time but it didn't. Ultimately, Rio never left because she didn't want to leave her little sister, Rowan, behind. Rowan was the one who always had faith in everyone and everything – including their alcoholic mother. Rio had long given up hope their mother would change but Rowan never did. She tried to find the good in people that sometimes just wasn't there.

Rio wished she was like that sometimes. Maybe she'd find the good in herself that she, or anyone else around her, could never see. If she thought better of herself then she wouldn't act the way she did. Her dad was the only one who truly loved her and he was gone. Not a day went by where Rio didn't think of him and he'd been gone for half a decade. Life wasn't easy to live when her favourite person was gone.

"Yo."

Snapping out of her daydream, she blinked a couple of times before seeing Fez.

"You good?" He asked, and for a second Rio swore she could see concern in his face. "You been standing there for like five minutes and not saying nothing."

Truth be told, Rio didn't even remember walking here. She had a penchant for turning up in places she didn't need to be. That was what got her into trouble.

"Not that it's any of your business but yes, I'm good." Rio pulled out the last of her money from her coat pocket. "I'll have the usual."

Rio, physically, looked very far from being good. She knew for a fact that her make-up was smudged all over her face, she had panda eyes and she was sure her hair was all tousled. Not tousled as in sexy tousled, but tousled as in she looked like she fought a bear. Whatever. Fez had seen her look worse.

"You come a lot more these days," Fez stated, passing her the drugs. "More than usual. You sure you good?"

For a second – a split second – Rio felt some sort of emotion. That was the thing about Fez, he was genuinely concerned. He was a drug dealer that actually cared about the people he gave drugs to. Rio always found that odd and didn't know why he would care, when he was getting paid to do the opposite. He didn't have to attach himself like that yet he did.