Innocent

c h a p t e r t e n

HERMIONE WAS PANTING FOR AIR. Ginny tapped on Hermione's shoulder again, this time more urgently. 

"Hermione," the new words fell out of Malfoy's mouth.

Ginny glanced over at Malfoy.

"You tell anyone, I will kill you."

He nodded.

"It's something that happens sometimes. I'm not really sure why. She's okay." Ginny explained.

"She can hear us. Just give her some time." Ginny wrapped her arms around Hermione in a warm embrace.

Malfoy's hand dangled awkwardly in the air. Hermione felt danger wielding itself over her brain. Her Mum and Dad resurfaced in her brain afloat, in everything she had tried to unlearn. Her Mum and Dad were gone. They were happier without her. Her tongue was rotting inside her mouth. Hermione tried focusing on her fingers, and how they felt. Her hands were clammy and thick. Her fingernails were chewed to the beds and were surrounded by strings of dead skin. She could feel her anxiety sloping down slowly. Some ink had stained the tips of her fingers. One thumb was a little stubbier than the other.

Hermione pushed Ginny's arms away from her. 

"I'm fine."

Ginny gave her a worried look before sitting back down. 

"Really, I'm fine." Her voice shook lightly. 

Anxiety had anchored itself in the back of her mind like an atomic bomb. As  if any spark of memory would set it off again. 

"I said I'm fine," Hermione said when she saw the look on his face. She picked at her hair. 

"...If you need help, you should get help." Malfoy said.

Out of Hermione's view, Ginny shot Malfoy a weary thumbs up.

"Just... memories."

"Anxiety."

The silent bond formed between their avoided gazes. Somethings were permanently broken, those areas were out of bounds. Putting two survivors in the same room would only trigger the memories.

"I'm not sure. Mine doesn't last long, but I have to focus to get rid of it." Hermione mumbled.

Hermione avoided Malfoy's eyes.

"If I don't focus they kinda," She waved her arms in exploding motions to hold in the sob. 

She couldn't break. Fear punched her deeper in the gut. 

"Thanks for calling me, Hermione. Like you don't have to call me that. You can call me anything other than... that."

She didn't say the word in case it ignited the bomb. She could feel her fingers grip on the edge of her sanity. Every second, her fingers slid off farther. Hold on. 

"It's fine. Does that mean I'm Draco?"

"If you want," Hermione said. 

She looked down and pretended to write on her paper. What was it? Pollux. Her fingers were holding on tighter to the edge. Hermione could almost picture the cliff and her weak body hanging off it. 

The silence lasted an eternity.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

Her fingers were now sliding in the grit, and she could feel her hands release. The ground zoomed towards her face. 

"Sometimes, I get anxiety attacks about stupid things," Hermione said. 

Malfoy or Draco was looking at her now. She stared at his hands that were resting calmly on the desk.