Innocent

c h a p t e r e i g h t e e n

"HERMIONE." 

Ron strode forth, brandishing a tightly bound bouquet of sunflowers. His voice sounded courser and was layered with nervousness. 

So much that all she could force out was- "You didn't respond to my letter."

Hermione didn't look at him with admiration, but a faint glaze of the past, as she dissected his features. All she found was a disappointment. She held the grimace that was slowly falling off her face. A defeated chuckle escaped his lips. 

"Didn't have time."

"What's with the flowers?"

"Just an erm, gift I bought on the way." He said. Ron pushed the flowers towards her. 

As the gap between them shortened, she noticed how sunken his eyes were and the faint pigments of red in his hair. He was as a flat watercolor painting floating in front of her, almost surreal to see. She constantly missed him, yet meeting him here was anticlimactic and different from how she expected.  

"So, you came to visit?"

"Yeah."

"Ron, what about your girlfriend? I can't take these."

"Sh- Ginny! She told you didn't she! Of course, she did!"

The flowers smelled fresh and faint, and a tea-like smell wavered through her nose. It wasn't her favorite flower, but her tastes had changed since the war, and she wasn't picky. 

Ron's face fell as if he was expecting more. She didn't know why she held him away, but he was the retirement of the past, and just thinking about his face surged the constant memories of war through her head. All the promises, midnight conversations, and fights were too much to bottle up so she exhaled them away.

"I, I was thinking about finishing my last year of Hogwarts with you." He paused. "I'm not ready to face the world, and I want the nostalgia." 

She wondered what he meant by nostalgia because everything from then felt like ash in her mouth.

"Are you sure you're ready to come back? Have you even ordered your books yet?"

He chuckled, and she realized she'd let the motherly part of her slip. 

"No, but I've made up my mind."

"Ron, I seriously can't take these." She forced the flowers back into his fist. "You should fix things at home before dashing out here."

 Somehow in the mix with Draco, things had been clearer and ideal, and now it was fragmented as ever. Even so, this was Ron and he was her best friend, so it would all be fine. The flowers, the drab suit, and the messy hair all showed he came back a damaged man.

"And one more thing. This isn't, like right timing, but I know I'm going to chicken out anyways-"

His body shook. 

And before he said what he was going too, Hermione already knew what he was going to say. She swallowed.

"I also came back because I love you."

The wind pulled at the flowers and ripped yellow petals off and into the wind. With a closer inspection, she realized they were browning and mostly dead. The heads drooped on the thin stems, almost slipping out of the package. 

"Oh."

"And I wanted to know if you... wanted to... be my... or like to date?"

"I-"

"Please, I need to know."

She stood paralyzed in the faint wind. Something in the back of her mind told her "yes" but everything else was silent. Faint shadows crowded the back of her mind as more people wandered about outside, and she realized how much he had missed since her transformation. 

"I don't know. Ron, how can you just break things off with a woman and jump to me? I will not fall at your feet."

His face tensed, and she almost expected him to punch her or slap her. His hands unwound from fists, and he paled. Like a kettle, the flare of a fight he had left he simmered away. 

"That's okay too. Just please... like um tell me when you know."

"This is wrong."

She walked back slowly, and he followed her. She noticed how their arms moved in sync, and his legs were a little too fast but he slowed to match her pace. Somehow, she felt taller than him even though he towered over her. His shoulders slumped wearily, and he had the face of an old man. What had happened when she was gone? She realized how different she must look- manly and unearthly. 

His hand brushed against hers and she shifted away.

"I'm glad I came back. I thought you would be too! I tried to bring Harry along... but he's happy working with the Ministry."

He continued talking about home and Mrs. Weasley. She wanted to run away. Their bodies were separate because of the war, stretched and frayed but still alive. He needed her, and she wasn't the same idiot girl that would fall in his clutches.  She couldn't keep her eyes off the dead flowers. 

"What made you like me?" She asked. 

"Uh... I dunno," he scratched his head, "Things were wrong without you around. And... I started missing your company."

"What about you?" He asked. 

"Right. But-" She stared directly in his eyes with a fiery look. "I said, I don't think this is right."

The boy gave her a sheepish look that made her feel guilty again. 

He was probably hoping she would dive into his arms, and that wasn't far from the truth. The once optimism had drained away and left her dry and famished. She adjusted her hand but missed the warmth running through her chest. Her heart was stone cold and only beat for the purpose of living. Malfoy's hand was different - it made her giddy and crave more somehow. She squeezed her eyes shut focusing on his shadow.

"I'm here for you, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"And if you need me..."

"Ron, I get it."

*******************

Draco,

Be wary of Ginny's owl. The monster will bite your hand off. Thank you for everything, sincerely. It means a lot. You say you owe me, but in truth, I was wrong about you as well. 

Cordially, 

Hermione

*********************

H

Tell Weasley to prune it's beak off. The idiot almost murdered me! You're lucky I was in a good mood, otherwise she might never have seen it again. You say you owe, but in truth, I was wrong about you as well. 

Beat that Hermione, 

-D

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"You cannot control the behavior of others, but you can always choose how you respond to it." ― Roy T. Bennett,