Innocent

c h a p t e r t w e n t y

THE QUESTION WAS ANSWERED WITH A SOFT LAUGHTER. She cringed, waiting for a response- Gosh, she was an idiot. Next time, she would seal her mouth forever, but for today she was risky and tired enough to make believable mistakes. Her eyes traced the bountiful eyes looking down at her. 

"What?"

"I... I don't know, it's just a question."

"You should be more careful."

His voice sounded like cold water against burning skin. It tore through her mind, burning her hopes. He was disappointed. 

"Would you ask that to anyone?" 

"No," she said. 

Her face was on fire, and she wanted to dive off the broom. She always spoke the first thoughts in her head, and somehow his words made her guilty. 

"Would you ask Ron that?"

Her face turned to ice. She couldn't seem to close her mouth. 

"How did you know he was here?"

"I saw him with you."

She swallowed and noted the broom had stopped and they were both suspended in the air. He was waiting for her to answer. 

"I don't... know. Why do you care?"

He was silent. The broom resumed, and it let out a breath of energy. 

Her eyes were gradually adjusting to the night, and she could make out the deep shadows of hills and mountains. She felt like she was going to explode, waiting for answers. But he wouldn't ask, because that was just Draco. 

"Why do you care?"

"Do you like Ron?"

"I-I... think maybe?"

The words were a sin on her mouth and tainted her body again. With a slight doubt, she clenched his coat only to be filled with the tug on her heart. 

Her feet scraped dirt, and Draco stood from the broom. They sat in the hollow of a forest, a cluster of trees, a blank canvas. 

"I don't think so."

Draco looked at her again. 

"Why do you want to know?"

He looked at her hopelessly. "I don't know."

"I mean," she said returning to her normal facade, "what does it even mean to love?"

The ground was cold against her back, but she liked the slight breeze and smell of dirt- so contrast to the plain library smell. 

"You tell me. You dated Ron."

His words seemed more of an accusation than a fact. 

"I don't even know, like since the war... things are so confusing. Everything feels wrong."

"Bleak." He murmured. 

"Yeah, really bleak... I mean for a while I thought I loved him, but now I hate the idea of ever... being with him."

Saying that felt like she was naked in front of Draco, and she realized how vulnerable she was: far from Hogwarts, talking to a past nemesis, laying in a foreign forest. 

But she knew he wouldn't hurt her. In fact, she felt more at ease around him, than alone caged inside herself. Maybe that's why she was always looking for him, always in need. 

"But I'm glad we fixed things between us."

"Me too."

Her smile was bathed in moonlight, and Draco leaned forward to catch the radiance of her smile he created.  

"Hey, Hermione."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about... Bellatrix, and everything."

"Draco, it's fine. They resonate with me, but like it's ok-"

A hiss cracked next to her, and she realized it was Draco. His hand was clamped over his mouth, muffling out harsh pants. 

"Draco?"

"You have no idea. I was... so upset and mad at myself... I never thought it would get better."

"Draco, it's okay."

She wrapped her arm around his back and laid his head onto her shoulder. 

"Draco, it's okay." She slowly placed her palm on his head, feeling his soft hair. He was always helping her, so this was her chance. He needed her. So she held him back, feeling her heartbeat intertwine with his. Her body was ice and he was the fire melting her into pieces. He was the calm voice that mended her charred pieces and filled the broken gaps with hope. They were opposing forces that kept each other alive and felt existence through pain and searing time.

"I forgive you."

And it was true. She couldn't be mad at him, no matter what. Because she knew who he was. 

His head shifted, and the slight movement sent a shiver down her spine. 

And she forgot about her parents. 

And she forgot that she would be a werewolf in a few days. 

She remembered Ron but pushed him aside. Instead, she cradled the broken boy until his pants had softened into harsh breathing. It was pure insanity to be with him, holding her, but there they were under the black sky. 

Draco smelled like sweat and leather- two weird combinations that didn't mix but were enough for her. Before she could forget the harsh delusion, his mouth was on her neck. Her mind went blank with wonder before her body sunk into his. He gazed into her eyes before his mouth was on hers- forceful and yet innocently. Draco blurred into the darkness of woods and sending her down a trail of hopelessness. She was quivering under his soft grip, a useless fight that slid through her body. After the split of excitement, she realized she was kissing him back ever so lightly. Her pain merged with his dark eyes and was forgotten in the victory of the moment. 

Then like dawn breaking the night, her lips were cold. His dark outline showed a shadow of shock as if he was afraid of his actions. Yet his hand lightly traced her back, so pure. She felt disappointment ooze through her heart as he stood up, and she didn't know why. 

But she did. It was a stupid kiss, yet proved her deepest fantasy - she was in love with Draco.