lilac skies » luka couffaine

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙞𝙩𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙪𝙭.

"AUDREY, are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost." said Nathaniel, his eyebrows furrowed in worry as he looked at his cousin's pale face. They were perched on the windowsill, where the last rays of the late afternoon sun fell slanting through. Each had a sketchbook against their lap — they considered sunrises & sunsets the perfect moments for sketching — however neither seemed to be concentrated on their artwork. Audrey was merely staring into the literal blankness of the paper, contemplating over the recent events of the day.

She saw no purpose in telling a lie, as she responded, "I just saw some familiar faces while I was out to buy bread. And nothing much has changed, but it's a little bit overwhelming to be finally back here after two years, you know?" She flashed a smile as an attempt to conceal the anxiety that had been flooding inside her since she saw him.

Him. And it wasn't just his physique. She had been looking at a reminder of her worst regrets, broken promises, and what could have been. He was the epitome of her lost dreams & hopes.

"You didn't stop by to talk to them?" Nathaniel asked.

"No. You know how shy I am. What if they might not recognize me?"

Her cousin snorted. "Maybe from the back they won't, but once they see your face up close, of course they will. They're not blind. If only you'd dye your hair back—"

"No," Audrey interjected in a firm, decided tone that could sometimes make others disregard humor. "I'm not dyeing my hair back to red."

"Awww, but you looked really cool with it," Nathaniel frowned. "I dyed mine red because I wanted to look as cool as you, you know."

"It suits you well. It doesn't suit me."

"I beg to differ," Nathaniel argued. "You look a little too basic with your natural hair."

"And my dyed red hair doesn't?" said Audrey, a corner of her lips curling up slightly.

"No. Like I said, it made you look cool. And hey - if you're gonna reunite with your old friends, best to show them that you're still the 'red girl' they all got to know."

"I am still 'red girl'. My personality hasn't changed at all while I was in Canada - just improved a little. I'm a little calmer now, don't you agree?"

Nathaniel sneered. "Calmer? Just earlier this morning, you were fussing over a missing belt, and you threatened to murder whoever stole it. Then later you found out it was just in your luggage the whole time."

"Hey, I was really anxious," retorted Audrey defensively, "That was a Louis Vuitton belt, and my mom would have killed me if I'd lost it."

"What is with you and Tata and your obsession with luxury brands?" Nathaniel rolled his eyes.

"Maman is the only one who's obsessed with them. I like luxury brands, but I'm a lot more fond of whatever looks pretty and has a great quality."

"Huh, okay, that's true. Even then, you've always been preoccupied with dressing stylishly."

"Evidently. Now you continue sketching out your fantasies of Ladybug — you're distracting me while I'm trying to decide whether or not I should add frills to the hem of this dress."

"Don't play pretend with me, Drey. I know that page is completely blank." Nathaniel glanced at her knowingly.

Audrey folded her sketchbook and sighed. "It's already getting dark, anyway. We should turn the lights on."

Shrugging, Nathaniel closed his sketchbook as well, and leaped off the windowsill as Audrey sauntered away to switch the lights on, giving the room its full vibrance.

Seeing Nathaniel head for the door, Audrey asked, "Why are you leaving now?"

"Wouldn't want your mom to get angry at you for letting me in here when she gets back."

She chortled, as though he had just told something utterly ridiculous. "You know perfectly well Maman loves having you here! She always thinks it's good that I get to bond with my 'beloved' cousin. You just don't want to deal with all her nagging about your hair and outfit,"

Nathaniel was holding the door knob now. "Obviously! I swear to God, your mom nags me more than my own mom does."

"Try being me, then. I have to deal with her every single day, and she never stops."

Nathaniel shuddered at the idea, and quickly pulled the door open. "No thanks,"

Audrey frowned. "You're really leaving me alone now?"

"Sorry. This isn't just because of Tata - but I promised Marc I would go hang out with him at this cool indie café that just opened near his place."

"Ah..." Audrey's frown instantly transitioned into a teasing smirk, "That boyfriend of yours?"

Nathaniel's face turned as red as his own hair. "How many times do I have to correct on you on that? He and I are not gay lovers. We're just great friends."

"You ought to be correcting yourself instead," Audrey quipped. "And stop denying."

"Oh, whatever. Bye."

"Make sure he doesn't see those sketches of you kissing Ladybug!" Audrey bellowed warningly, as the red-haired boy shut the door behind him, leaving only the former to loiter around in the room.

Heaving a deep sigh, Audrey padded to her bedroom and, dropping her sketchbook on the table, sat before the vanity mirror. Gazing at her reflection, she saw the ghost of a girl, one with short unkempt scarlet hair and a pimpled face. Neither feature belonged to the young lady now staring back at her as she snapped back to actuality.

You foolish girl, she reproached the young lady in the mirror, You never really changed much, have you? Still as imprudent as ever — you're always keeping yourself from doing the right thing because of your timidness. You swore you'd change for the better!

Then she scowled. Am I really to be blamed? I didn't have the courage to look at him or even remain in his presence. Not after I hurt him terribly.

You want to be forgiven, don't you?

Of course. More than anything.

Then apologize to him. It's not that hard to utter a single "I'm sorry".

But will he forgive me? I can't even forgive myself.

Audrey left her own question hanging, as she did not know the answer to it either.

She pulled out a wet wipe and gently rubbed away the light makeup. As dinner was not yet ready, she decided to spend the remaining time reading.

She grabbed a poetry book from her neatly arranged shelf, and began to read through.

T h a t   D a y

𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘶𝘦𝘴,
          𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴
          𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨;
          𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦,
          𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦.

𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘴,
          𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘴,
          𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘺,
          𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘦
          𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺.

          — Lang Leav.

Except — in the second stanza, it wasn't a his nor a he, but rather a my and an I.

—-