Protect & Serve LotR-Lord of the Rings Fanfiction - Fan Fiction -WattyAwards2012

Chapter 14: Uncertain Futures

I watched in silence as she walked away from me. Long I had heard others of my race speak of the heartaches they felt before they allowed themselves to fade. As a youth, I had scoffed at the idea. Even as I matured, I had not truly understood the depth of emotion they must have felt to allow themselves to fade into the Halls of Mandos.

Yet, I felt that depth of emotion now. My heart yearned to reach out and stop Elaina from walking away from me. It screamed at me a thousand different reasons to give her.

But I could not.

She was happy here. I had seen such smiles light her face as she ran and played with the elflings of the city. Years fell away from her when she played and smiled with them. The smile that haunted my every dream and waking thoughts.

Yet, what had I to offer her?

My path was bound to the Fellowship. My destiny uncertain.

I knew not whether I would ever even see my home again, let alone have one to offer her one day. Loath I was to face it, but the Galadhel could offer her more than I could. He could offer Elaina a home and safety that was beyond my reach. He could offer her the continued happiness that caused her face to light into such smiles every day. Her past had been darkened by such horrors that I could barely even fathom, and I knew she had still kept some of the darkest horrors from me, shielding me from the worst horrors. She deserved something bright and good in her future. Her future was more than entitled to happiness and safety for once. She deserved to finally have a home.

I could only offer her uncertainty.

Still, Galadriel’s silent offer weighed heavily upon my mind. On entering the city, she had looked into the hearts and minds of all the Fellowship, weighing our courage and testing our resolve. Offering to each of us what we wanted and what tempted us most. I know not what had been in the minds of most the others, but images of Elaina had been my offering. Images of her smiling and happy as she walked by my side in the woods of my father’s realm.

Mirkwood lay only just to the north. I could take Elaina and return her to the safety of my father’s kingdom. I could ensconce her within his realm and ensure her safety.

Yet, I would have to leave the Fellowship behind to do so. Though Elrond had laid no oath upon us to travel further than our conscience or resolve could bear, I knew my own will would not allow me to tarry from my path. I had committed myself to this journey, and I could not turn away now. If we did not see the Ring destroyed, not even my realm would be safe for Elaina.

I had to let her go, and ensure that she would be safe here in Lothlórien. I would ensure that she could find happiness and love here, though it cleaved my heart in two. Her wishes and desires would be honored by me. If she loved the marchwarden, I would bury my heart and continue to wish her well.

Tamping my emotions down, I turned and walked back to our campsite and the tent I shared with Estel. Yet, something of my emotions must have shone through on my face as I entered our tent. The ranger had been reclining on his cot and glanced up at my entrance, but sat up in alarm as I walked closer.

“What is wrong, my friend?” he asked quietly in Sindarin. We spoke Westron around the others as was necessary, but when it was just the two of us, we slipped easily into conversing in the language we were both more comfortable with.

“Nothing is wrong, Aragorn,” I assured him, using his given name instead of the name he had been known by as a child. 

“The drawn expression on your face and the sadness in your eyes say otherwise. What has happened?”

I suppose it was too much to hope for in trying to fool him. Human though he was, he was of the Dúnedain and the elvish blood in him made him more perceptive than other humans. A quality, I ruefully recalled, that Elaina shared with him. Many nights as we stared at the stars, she was able to read my expressions like a book, knowing there were thoughts I was keeping and trying to hide from the world.