The Art of Learning to Love

16

He loved her.

He realized this as 4 days into his trip she was washing his clothes, hanging them with delicate precision and not letting him help. He imagined he could get used to watching her move around their house, fussing over him and the kids, making dinner, helping with homework and playing silly games as a family, sharing a glass of wine before they went to bed.

Hiro could imagine staying up late to work, being available for the markets across the hemisphere and her worrying about him not eating or resting enough. He could picture her coming into his office to ask him to retire for the night, as his wife needed attention.

The word hit him like a punch to the chest; wife.

They hadn't discussed the next steps they planned to take, and Hiroshi was scheduled to return to Japan in 3 days. He'd been so focused on enjoying the little bubble they'd created that the future had not really crossed his mind.

"Baby?"
"Hmmm? You ok babe?"
"What do you want to do about us?"
"Us? What do you mean?"
"We are going to be parents Annabel, my daughter needs to have my last name. I want to provide for you both."
"Oh! That's not- necessary. I have a job, you don't have to-"

"Annabel, I want to. I want you and the baby to be comfortable, I have more than enough money. I want you to stay with the baby at home for some time..." he explained calmly even though inside he was panicking. To him it sounded like she wasn't trying to have him in their lives.
The pained expression she gave him hurt him, Hiroshi frowning as she sighed, biting her lip before she looked at him.

"Hiro, it's fine, really. We'll be ok."
"You do not want me in your life once the baby is born" he said flatly, standing from his spot on the sofa, watching her blanch.
"I don't want you to be in Japan and us here. I want all 3 of us to be together, in one place Hiro. I know I can't have that, I know-"
"I will leave."
"Hiro No!"
"It is what you want, no?"
"I don't want you to leave! You still have 3 days left! Please stay."
He chuckled, shaking his head at the misunderstanding.

"I will leave the Yakuza. I will leave so my daughter and you can have me here. But it will take some time Annabel. There are some things I need to do..."

"Please don't do anything dangerous" she begged him, sitting next to him and taking his hand, hugging it to her chest. He nodded.

"I will try not to. But I cannot promise. I need to know you will eat and rest and take care of yourself and our child until I come back. Then we can get married."

"We can get married before you leave."
***
He couldn't stop staring at the ring on his finger as he sat in his first class seat back to Japan. He'd been in the air for 3 hours and it felt like forever and a day already.

Mainly because he was missing his pregnant wife.

She was a strong one, he realized, remembering she hadn't shed a single tear as they'd separated at the airport, Hiroshi promising her he'd be back as soon as he'd taken care of business. She had instead smiled that heart stopping smile and nodded, taking his hands in hers and getting on tiptoes for a kiss.

"We'll be here waiting" was all she'd said after pulling away, turning him towards the security line and watching as he'd made it to the checkpoint before waving and heading out to the cool evening air.

It physically pained him to leave her, but he had no other choice, unless he wanted to live looking over his shoulder, in fear for his wife and child's safety anytime he wasn't with them. No, he couldn't do that to Annabel. Or to Airi.

The name had come to him in a dream, and he'd woken with a start, half scaring Annabel to death as he'd been hyperventilating when he'd awoken.

He'd calmed down as he recounted the dream to Annabel, who had loved the name as soon as he'd suggested it, laughing when he'd told her not to get too cocky that he'd chosen an A name for their first born, making her promise their second would have an H name.

It gave him joy to know she was on board with having more children with him, even if she didn't agree with the timeline of another one in a year. He wanted to give her the world, but had settled for giving her a diamond ring and promising her the wedding of her dreams whenever she was ready for it.

He would make sure she'd have that fairy tale life she'd always dreamed of.