Tick Tock [short story]

crescent[ ]moon

Thursday, July 25th, XXXX ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀00:19

United States of America

NXX XXXX

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I can’t seem to sleep. Strange, because I was so sleepy during the day. I’m restless again. I can’t calm it down.

I’m still tired though. But my body is still awake, and if I get back in bed, all I do is toss and turn, even if I close my eyes and breathe evenly and slowly or try to imitate the conditions of sleep.

Sleep doesn’t come.

There’s still an entire night left. I’m terrified. It’s one thing to live with this yawning feeling inside me when it’s bright outside and I can hear my parents downstairs, talking or walking around or doing whatever it is they do when they’re not at their jobs.

But at night, it burns. It’s like having heartache, and I don’t even know what a heartache is or feels like. But my heart is pounding, with every squeeze, every time it pumps blood through me, it hurts. I don’t know how to make it stop.

I’m jittery. My body is wide awake. My legs won’t stop bouncing, and my eyes are scanning this page furiously for somethinganything. And my hand is trembling. I want to write. I want to record something.

But there’s nothing to record. I lead a thoroughly boring life.

There are only so many things I can think about.

There’s a crescent moon tonight. I can’t tell whether it’s waning or waxing. But it’s so bright and white up there. I wonder if it ever gets lonely. It sometimes seems like it’s the only thing in the sky, and it’s surrounded on every side by darkness.

That’s when the stars started sparkling. As if they were indignant and telling me that the moon wasn’t alone.

What a lucky moon.

Once upon a time, I had a sister, and I could at least say I had that much.

Now…now…now what do I have?

What has my yearning left me with?