The Love I Never Gave-Maylor

Horrifying

Few Days Later

Roger's POV

Nothing was right anymore. Brian had changed too far from the point of return. Every day was filled with him taunting me, screaming that I will never be good enough or how worthless I was, often told to go fuck off. He confused me, sometimes he would be charming to me, but the next day he would be back to normal, being his abusive self. Part of me believed that there was still the old him inside of this new version, hidden away, and I was persistent with him. One day in hopes that I would be able to unleash the remaining pieces of his old self. He was buried and locked away somewhere deep down in the new Brian, the Brian I used to know. Recently, things had started getting physical. He would occasionally slap me, cut me with what he could find, and punch me with all of his force. Even with this, his words always hurt me far worse than his actions could ever do. Today hadn't been any better, in fact, more poorly than most days. Brian sat on edge today, not taking me anymore.

"I can't deal with you anymore, that's it, leave!"

"What! But—"

"Leave! Get your pretty little ass out of my sight, now!"

I didn't move. Brian couldn't kick me out of my own house.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

Warn me? About what? Stomach dropped as I was being lifted off the couch by Brian.

"No! Wait!"

He slumped me over his shoulder and dizziness came over me from the blood rush to my head. The door slammed open and I faced the front lawn, inches away from it.

"Fuck you."

"Woah!"

Hair blew into my face and arms were thrashing, trying to catch myself, but I planted onto the ground. Oh good...Scrapes burned and the earthy taste of dirt in my mouth, gagged up in my throat. I turned to face the door and then and there it closed, slamming shut. No...my only way in was gone. I got onto my scraped knees, attempting to stand up.

It burned like fire, unbearable, but I continued, still in pain and managed to stand up and walk, heading towards nothing.

Minutes Later

Still nothing. I had no idea where I was going or where to go, I was just...going. I reached an intersection of businesses and parking lots. That's how I ended up outside a bar, sitting by myself, away from everyone. Where did I go wrong? I must've done something to change Brian, he wasn't the same anymore, was it my fault? Stupid me, it's always my fault when things go wrong. When would I stop being a failure? Anger burned through my veins and throat, tears welling up in my eyes. No, don't cry, you have to show that you're strong. Head pounded, trying not to let the flood of tears out, only to stream down my face. Shut the fuck up, Roger. Worthless! You'll never be good enough!

"No..."

Get out of my fucking sight, now!

"No, no..."

Failure!

"No!"

My screams echoed throughout the alleyway, ringing back into my ears. The urge to cry now stronger than ever, but I still refused to let my emotions out. Pounding in my head turned heavy pounds, setting off a headache. Don't cry, keep it all in and it will be fine. Burning in my eyes became prominent, trying hard to not let a tear escape. Breathes quickened and quavered from the emotions beating down and overwhelming me. All I wanted was to go home...Brian must've gotten over it by now. I turned around and was on my way back.