What Am I? | z.d.h

two

Francesca

"Francesca Claire, get up right now. You're going to be late," My mom says as she yanks the blanket off of me. I just groan in response, my eyes still closed. "Frankie, I'm not playing around. Get up." Her voice i demanding. I figure I'll give her the benefit today and get up. 

"How long do I have until school starts?" I ask. 

"Half hour," She simply says as she walks out of my room. I sigh and actually get out of bed. I walk over to my closet and grab the first few things I see that go together and put them on. (outfit in media)

"You can't wear that!" My 14 year old sister says as she points at my stomach that was almost completely exposed. 

"Yes I can, Greer.  No one follows the dress code," I tell her. She just rolls her eyes and walks out of my room. I sit down at my vanity and put on a little makeup. Just mascara, eyeliner and chap stick. Nothing big. I then go and brush my teeth and hair. I don't really do much else, seeing as I only had 10 minutes to get out the door. I grab my phone off the charger and my backpack from the corner and head downstairs. 

"My babies are all grown up," My mom pouts as she looks me and my sister up and down. "A freshman and a senior." I roll my eyes at the melodramatic reaction she was having.

"We gotta go," I sigh as I look at the time on my phone. Greer grabs her backpack from the kitchen and runs out the door, placing a kiss to our mom's cheek before leaving. 

"You watch her," My mom says as I go to kiss her cheek.

"She'll be fine," I sigh as I walk out the front door. I get in my car, a white 2015 jeep wrangler, and basically fly out of the driveway. Greer and I jam out to the radio as we drive the 15 minutes to school. By the time we get there, we're 35 minutes late. I pull into the student parking lot and put the car in park. Before we get out, I turn to Greer.

"If anyone gives you trouble send their name and address in a text message and I'll be sure to straighten them out," I tell her. She laughs even though I'm dead serious. I take the keys out of the car and we walk into school together. 

We go our separate ways almost instantly, our lockers being on opposite sides of the school. I take my sweet time to get to class, not caring that I was missing it because who needs English anyways? 

When I do get to my locker, I grab my notebook and a pen and leave everything else in my locker. When I finally get to class, I walk right in. Everyone's eyes turn to me. I look around for an empty desk and see two familiar faces. One I was happy to see and one I hated. 

"And you are?" The teacher, Mr. Paul, asks. 

"Frankie. Evans," I say. He looks at his roster.

"Francesca?" He asks. I roll my eyes at my full name. The name I hated with a passion because of how old it sounded. 

"You can take a seat next to Miss Cruz," He says, pointing to the only empty desk in the room. Wrong move Mr. P. I smile and make my way to the desk. Right next to my best friend.

"What's up, MJ?" I whisper to her. She's just smiles as she focuses on whatever Mr. P was saying. I honestly don't listen to anything he was talking about. Instead, I find myself staring at the other familiar face. Benjamin Roland. My on again off again boyfriend. His eyes meet mine and he winks. I nearly groan with frustration at his action, knowing damn well he was trying to trap me again. 

As the class continues, I find myself thinking about my summer. 

"We shouldn't," I mumbled, as Benji pushed me up against the wall and kissed my neck. He didn't stop. I knew that deep down I didn't want him to stop but I also knew that we had to. That I had to tell him I knew the secret he was keeping. "Benji, get off." I had pushed him off of me and he was mad. Beyond mad. Pissed. 

"What the fuck, Frankie!" He yelled, his temper being short. 

"We can't do this here," I explained, as I looked at my little sister's bed. My room was off limits because of my freshly painted walls. 

"Why not?" He groaned. I rolled my eyes, wondering how he thought having sex in my little sister's room would be a good idea. 

"Because it's my sister's room. And I know what you did." I said the last part quietly, part of me hoping he didn't hear me. 

"What did I do?" He was fuming now. Whether it was because he knew I knew or because I had shut our moment down fast, I wasn't sure. 

"You slept with McKinley." I tried walking away from him but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to him.

"Who told you that?" He asked through his teeth. 

"MJ saw you too in the backseat of your car. You did it in the parking lot where I work, Benji. You couldn't keep your dick in your pants until I got off my shift?" Now I was mad. 

"Ever think I didn't want you that day?" He asked. "Ever thought maybe I was tired of fucking you over and over? Ever thought I that maybe I was bored?" 

I could feel my heart shatter but I didn't show it. Frankie Evans doesn't show her emotions. Frankie Evans doesn't have emotions.

"If you were so bored then why are we here now?"

"Because I'm waiting for Kinley to dump that lame boyfriend of hers. What's his name? Zeke?" 

"Zach," I sighed. That poor boy had no clue what was happening behind his back. Part of me felt bad. Part of me hated him for not knowing. For not having to be broken up with. For not having to know this pain.

"Get out of here," I told Benji finally. I practically pushed him out of the room, not wanting to see his face anymore. 

"Gladly, whore." Was the last thing he said to me. 

I felt my heart pang as I thought of the pain I felt. The crying every night for weeks. The not eating and not moving. 

Frankie Evans doesn't feel. Frankie Evans doesn't feel. Frankie Evans doesn't feel. 

I repeat the sentence over and over again until I'm completely numb to the pain the thought of our last day together brought me. 

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This is really bad omg. But it'll get better.... I hope.