Little Shop of Horrors

"How do I passive aggressively say 'fuck you' in flowers?"

"How do I passive aggressively say 'fuck you' in flowers?"

Lewis slowly set down his game, and looked at the man, who was not a usual sort of customer. He was handsome and put together, wearing a crisp linen suit to cut through the summer heat. Not the kind of person he expected to ask such a question in his flower shop at 3pm on a Tuesday, even if he did have some odd individuals.

     "Please?" The man said, growing impatient.

"Yeah of course!" He said fumbling around. "Geranium, for stupidity of course. I have some Hyacinth, it's supposed to mean consistency but it's.. pretty dead so it might work. Meadowsweet means you're um, useless? Orange lilies are straight up hatred cause its kinda an ugly flower and Hyacinth! It means prayers and stuff but you might be able to twist that. Like I pray you'll finally get your head out of your ass."

     He looked impressed, Lewis just shrugged and went about collecting the bouquet. It was truly awful, he almost felt bad selling it. Oh well, he at least put a pretty blue ribbon around it. He always puts pretty ribbons for Bridget, she would always steal them to put in her hair.

     "This to your satisfaction..?"

"Micheal."

     "Micheal. Im Lewis by the way. Lewis Winchester. Some people call me Six though."

"Okay Six." He said with a smirk. " Looks perfect."

     Micheal put a 50 dollar bill on the counter before promptly walking out of the store, Lewis' mouth still dry. He used the extra tip to buy a hot chocolate at the fancy shop that evening before bed--and really hoped Micheal would come back for another passive aggressive bouquet. Not even a week later, Micheal stormed into his store once again.

     "How do I say 'fuck you' in flowers, not so passive aggressive. More like aggressive aggressive"

"You could give them a straight up bouquet of the orange lilies? I don't even know why we stock them.."

     "Oh, you can be more creative than that."

"Well.. I did get this as a return?"

Lewis handed Micheal a grocery bag that had been dropped by earlier that day by a righteously pissed off soccer mom. It contained the decimated remains of a bouquet of roses, a decapited teddy bear, and a note were 'I still love you' was scribbled out and hastily written over with "Fuck you Jared, the divorce is final." He gave her two dollars to leave and made a note to never sell to 'Jared' again.

     "Wow. Just wow."

"Yeah, she was..nice."

     "I'm pretty sure she cut its head off with a spoon."

"Well she looked like she wanted to snap me in half so, glad Teddy took the fall."

     "Me too, wouldn't want anything to happen to that pretty little face of yours."

     Lewis felt the blush spread across his face, and quickly cleared his throat and took a breath. He alway thought he looked stupid when he was blushing.

     "So can I uh, ask who this is for?"

"My sister." He groaned. "There was a drunken wedding in Vegas."

     "Wait you married her?" Lewis said with as much alarm as should be allowed.

"No, no. She married a drug dealer."

     Micheal started at Lewis's (warranted) confused expression for a minute before laughing.

"She married her boyfriend, who may or may not sell sweets of a hallucinogenic quality. They are in something resembling love, but the bitch didn't invite me to her wedding."