ECSTASY.

011

xi. fucked up
    

"you fucked up, ma." he says taking me by the his and moving me to sit beside him rather than on his lap, i slump into his side.

"you like it," i tease, giving him a sly smile, watching him look down on me with a faded smile. he doesn't deny it and i bite my lip, looking out at the pool. i catch nate's eyes on me from across the pool, he doesn't look at me in any particular way, he just kind of stares at me. i look away from his gaze, focusing on the feeling of fez's heartbeat that i can still feel through his sweater.

"i really got your heart beating huh?" i say, giving out a breathy laugh and he pushes me playfully.

"shut yo ass up, ma." he says but he says it with a smile, i mumble 'cute' under my breath and he rolls his eyes.

"you makin' jokes like you ain't call me pretty at the party in this exact spot," he says and i raise my brows, "remember that don't you?" he says laughing at the memory and i roll my eyes.

"nah i don't think i do," i tease and look out at the water again, "you're okay, i guess." i say and he mouths 'wow.'

"just okay? because it's lookin' like i'm a lil better than okay, by the way you was just on my lap but whateva lil mamma," he says and i feel my face heat up and i nod my head slow, pulling my lips into a line.

"valid point," i concede, looking back at him with a shy smile.

"i mean i gotta be more than okay because you were callin' me daddy a couple of hours ago." he says with a smile evident on his face.

"and you liked it." i say, winking at him and his face heats up again, "kinky." i say with a laugh and this time he for real pushes me away, making me laugh harder.

"don't worry about it, i won't tell anybody daddy." i let the name fall from my lips casually, feeling him tense up beneath the fabric of his sweater, "this is too easy." i laugh at the reactions he gives. he pushes me again and i let another laugh slip.

"better stop playin' with me ma," he says and i quirk my brow at him, moving my head to lay across his thighs, facing the sky and looking at those same stars.

"and what if i don't?" i challenge, looking up at the small beard he had going on, i mess with the fabric of his sleeve, his arm draped across my stomach. i smile and keep looking up at him until he looks down at me.

"yo carolina!" i barely recognize the voice because of how distracted i am but when i turn my head to the source i realize the voice is coming from nate. maddy seems to have left his side for whatever reason. i look up at fez, shooting a wink before i manage to help myself up, "be right back." i say and he nods with a faint smile, noticeably less present since it was nate who called me over.

"what's up dude?" i say, sitting on the arm of the couch like roy and troy were sat on the couch across from me.

"you and fez?" he questions but he doesn't look at me, instead, he looks at fezco.

"why? jealous?" i ask jokingly, but his laugh seems insincere and it certainly doesn't feel natural with the plastered on smile.

"just a question, babe." he says, patting my leg, "nice show though," he says and i raise a middle finger to him trying to turn away to hide the embarrassment on my face.

"very funny," i roll my eyes and he laughs, his hand lingering on my leg for a moment longer before maddy comes back out of the house, finished with whatever she had been doing. once he sees her, his hand moves back to his lap. that tells me all i need to know, their relationship has cracks if he's  hiding the way he was touching me from her. if it was innocent, why move like you're scared to get caught?

maddy eyes me as she sits next to nate, taking his arm and putting it over her shoulder almost protectively. "you're makeup is killer," i say to her, no hint of malice in my voice, putting on a small smile and then excusing myself to the kitchen.

once i'm in, i see that cassie is already in there too, looking for something.

"hey, cassie right?" i question and she smiles lightly at me.

"carolina?" she says and i nod, smiling gently.

"so, when did you move here?" she asks and her voice is softer than i expected it to be, like she's treading.

"couple of days ago, still a newbie." i say, making my way to the freezer, looking for the ice cream that i brought back.

"hey, at least you didn't grow up here. anything's gotta be better than that." she says and i nod.

"like seriously, everyone here is a fucking asshole." she says and i laugh lightly.

"trust me, new york can't be much better. the subway is just something else entirely," she laughs lightly and i smile over at her.

"nice moves by the way, dancing with you at the party was one of the highlights of my night." she says and a flash from the party crosses my mind, me in that crowd of girls just dancing like i owned the world.

"i wish i could remember what moves you're talking about but i was blacked all the way out," i laugh and she shakes her head with a smile.

"we've got the same habit," she teases and i take the ice cream from the fridge, grabbing two spoons from the drawer that cassie helps me find.

"so you and fez?" she says looking at me with a curious glance, from behind a curtain of her blonde hair.

"i dunno," i say, honestly. i don't know what's gonna come from any of this. i think he's attractive, he's sweet, generous, funny and he could take a joke but i don't know if he would even want anything from me.

"we just met, yknow." i clarify and she shrugs, moving to lean against the counter.

"yeah but do you like him?" she questions and i smile a little bit. shrugging my shoulders at the question, trying to play it off as nothing.

"oh you do, i mean it looked like you do," she says and i raise the middle finger to her, she laughs at the gesture and i smile.

"whatever, it's not like we kissed sober," i say, shrugging as the laughs die down between us.

"i don't think i've seen you sober." she says and i shrug again, the action becomes more natural with each shrug.

"i'm no fun when i'm sober, trust me." i say and she quirks her brow at me as i start my walk back towards fez. she waves shyly as i go and i return the gesture with a warm smile. i pass the group of teens on my way past the pool and back to the couch.

"you want ice cream?"