Missing Like You

FORTY-ONE

SCOTT DONOVAN
JULY 2021

I didn't see Lexie for a while after that night in the hotel, albeit, she left an everlasting impression.

We spent a few hours together, lying in bed, talking how we used to. It made me forget everything else I'd been feeling lately, and afterwards, it gave me a new sense of hope that everything could go back to normal and be okay again.

When it came time to leave, I tried not to make a thing of it. I didn't stare into her eyes or let my lips linger on hers. I simply told her I had to get going, and we went our separate ways. She didn't follow after me with threats or ultimatums, so I assumed I was off the hook. As long as Lexie got what she wanted every now and then, she'd be happy. The answer to my problem was simply to ensure this continued to happen. Otherwise, the consequences would be dire.

Things at home with Isabelle were fine, just as they'd always been. We didn't fight or argue or go to bed mad at one another. Even during my entire six-month affair with Lexie, things remained complacent and placid at home with my wife. She'd never have a reason to suspect anything was amiss. I guess I was better at compartmentalization and deceitfulness than I thought.

I wondered how things were at home with Lexie and her husband. She didn't like to talk about him too much. This didn't strike me as odd considering I didn't like to talk about Isabelle either. It was one of our rules, though, we broke them from time to time. I didn't want Lexie knowing anything about Isabelle. It felt like an even bigger betrayal than I was already responsible for. Knowledge equals power, so whatever Lexie knew about Isabelle could be considered an upper-hand that I didn't want her to have. The same could be said for me as well, I guess. I didn't know anything about her husband, except for his name. She didn't share too much, and sometimes I sensed she felt uncomfortable at the mention of him. Perhaps their marriage was perfect and she was simply an adulterous manipulator. The discomfort I sensed at the mention of his name could have been her guilt leaking through, feeling remorse for her actions. Or perhaps I had it all wrong. Perhaps their marriage was the opposite of perfect and he was the very reason for her extramarital affairs. Either way, it didn't matter. What happened, happened, and there was no changing it.

It was now July. Isabelle and I had made plans to go away to a cottage for the weekend with some of our friends. Maya and her husband Chris were coming, along with Kate, Rachel, Jake and his girlfriend Ashley, and their friend Adam. The week prior to that was a bit hectic because Isabelle was dealing with stress at work, and on top of that, Zeppelin was acting out more than usual. We soon discovered that this was due to pain and not rebellion. I had to bring her into the vet the Friday morning we were set to leave for the cottage. After doing a thorough examination, the vet informed me that she had an ear infection. Nothing some antibiotics couldn't fix. We picked up the prescription, then headed home to finish packing.

We left for the cottage around noon. We tried to carpool as best as we could, so in our SUV was myself, Isabelle, Kate, and Rachel, along with Zeppelin in the back. Jake and Ashley squeezed in with Maya, Chris, and Adam.

It took two hours to get there, and once we finally arrived, everyone was thankful to get out and stretch. We all headed inside to unload our things and begin filling the fridge with booze. The cottage belonged to Maya and Chris. It had been Chris's family cottage for years, and was eventually passed on to him.

Everyone had a great weekend. We went swimming, had bonfires, barbeques, went tubing. It was a nice getaway as well as an escape from life back home. There were no sirens or chaos out there like there was in the city. Just a serene calmness that was contagious to everyone who visited. I think it's safe to say that everyone left a whole lot calmer than they did when they arrived. Except me, that is. Because just when I was beginning to think I was safe and everything would be fine again, I got a text from Lexie on my main phone.

Enjoying your weekend away? Hope everyone is having a good time! Especially Isabelle. She definitely needs it.

If the text had come from anyone else, it would have been seen as a courtesy, a polite way of checking in. But the text hadn't come from anyone else. It had come from Lexie. So I knew exactly what it meant.

It was a threat.