Gravity Falls Pines Triplets (Original Version)

The Stanchurian Candidate

Stan opened his eyes for the first time that morning, and for a moment, he just simply stared up at the ceiling above him.

"Alright, Stan, another day, another random body pain" he said to himself, as he prepared his body to get out of bed. "Here we go."

He heard his back crack as he rolled out of bed, and he placed his feet in his slippers.

He was surprised to find that his feet squished into a pair of rather very wet shoes.

"Ugh!" he exclaimed, as he looked down to see the slippers oozing a white liquid. He looked over and found a note in the shape of a shooting star that was stuck to a jug sitting on his side desk.

He picked up his glasses from the side desk, placed them over the face, and then took the note in his hands so that he could read it:

'Dear Stan,

I needed something to carry milk in, so I used your slippers

-Love, Mabel.'

Stan grimaced, wondering why in the world she had chosen to use his slippers of all things to carry milk in. He stood up from the bed, and started to walk out of the room, his feet making squishing noises with each step that he took.

Stan reached over towards the hook on the back of his door, where his red bathrobe was hanging. He slipped it over his body.

He got another surprise when he found that there were holes and black singe marks all over the robe.

Another note fell out of the breast pocket of the robe, out of a new tear in the bottom.

With great struggle, Stan finally bent downwards and picked up the note to read it:

'Dear Stan,

I accidentally disintegrated my lab coat, so I used your robe. It's got a few scorch marks, but I've at least managed to get most of the skin-flaying acid out of it.

-Thanks for understanding, Mara.'

Stan was starting to wonder if having a warm body was worth the risk of touching 'skin-flaying acid.' After how lousy the morning had been going so far, he decided to take a chance.

Wearing his milk-filled slippers and his scorched bathrobe, he walked into the dark kitchen, reached over, and flipped up the light switch.

The light bulb blew itself out.

Stan groaned in annoyance.

Could this morning get any better?
He opened the cabinet, where he kept a box of spare light bulbs, and picked them up.

The box was empty.

He shook it, and a third note fell out of the empty container.

He picked it up, and read it:

'Dear Stan,

I took these to build a planetarium suit for Soos. Sorry!

-Dipper.'

There was a drawing of Soos wearing a planetarium suit on the note as well.

Stan growled in frustration, and crumpled the note in his hands.

A few minutes later, he was standing in line at the grocery store with a new box of lightbulbs under one arm. He was still wearing his bathrobe and slippers.

Unfortunately, Wendy's friends happened to be there as well, and they were walking into line right behind Stan.

"Hey, let's not take this line" said Lee, pointing to Stan. "There's an old person in it."