Me Being Random

Oh My Fucking God...GUYS! *

Fucking Hell! I don't even know where to begin, Guys and Gals!
I literally almost had a Panic Attack yesterday!!

Okay, I'll start from the beginning.

Yesterday, during Tech Theater, I asked the teacher to go to the restroom.
Now, something that I should explain is, before school started my mom and I went up to the school, talked to my counselor and told her about my transitioning.
She sent an email out telling all my teachers to change my name on their schedules to Ethan.

Back to yesterday.
So, I walked up to her, this is how the conversation went.
(PS. This has absolutely nothing to do with my Attack)

T- Teacher (rushing around, getting everything set up)
E-Ethan(Me)

T-"Ethan, you were helping Isaac with the wood last class, right?"

E- "Uh-Yes, ma'am. But-"

T- "Great! Than you can go finish."

E- "Actually. I had a question."

T- "Oh! Yeah! What is it?"

E- "Can I go to the restroom?"

T- "Oh! Yeah, sure! Then you can go help Isaac!"

E- "Yeah! Definitely!" *Gives a thumbs up and leaves*

So, I head to where the bathrooms are.
Okay?

I walk out of the auditorium (where we have class) and into the entrance hallway, where the bathrooms are.
Right when I walk out into the entrance hall, another boy, Devin, walks into the bathroom.

Now, Devin isn't just any boy.
Devin is someone I was, somewhat, familiar with.
A few days ago, I had let him borrow my charger and I had to bug him all week just to get it back(which I eventually did).

Not only that, but this would also be the first time I went into the boys restroom while another boy was in there.

So, due to those 2 reasons, I did not know if I wanted to go in.
Sadly, I hadn't gone to the bathroom all day (this is last period). Now, I'm used not using the restroom all day and not going until I get home in the afternoon.

But in this particular situation, I had drank A LOT of water, due to having a dry mouth.

So, there I was; pacing outside the bathroom, pulling my hair, breathing hard and sweating up a storm(it didn't really help that I wear a hoodie 24/7).

Every now and again, I would freeze in place and look across the entrance to the girls bathroom, contemplating going in there. But then my brain and Anxiety would remind me
'Hey, you are a BOY! Imagine what would happen if anyone saw us go in there! You're already misgendered enough!

Finally, I come to a decision
"I can hold it" I declare.

Then I turn and walk down the hall, towards where Isaac and I were working on the wood.
I was getting my music set up, because I can't work without music, so I end up pausing in the middle of the hall.
About 5 minutes later, I hear the bathroom door open and look up to see Devin getting a drink of water and then walking back towards the auditorium.

Yes! Alright I lied, I can't hold it!
I thought to myself as I almost run back down the hall and Into the bathroom.

So,that's what happened. I used the bathroom and went to help Isaac.
Nothing else happened but it was still very frustrating,unanticipated, and pretty scary.

This is usually where people do something inspirational, so...

and also...

and last but not least...