Salted Caramel Coffee (COMPLETED!)

Chapter Nineteen} Trü$t

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Love is a saltwater lake
beautiful but bitter
it burns and stings and in the end
it's never really worth it to swim in.

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I have nowhere to go. I don't know how to get to any other place besides Mario's Pizza Palace, and I don't have anyone to call. My mother won't pick me up, my dad is not an option, and Carmen's car is my mom's. I'm stranded in the middle of Nevada.

     If all it would take for this to be over is for me to write, give me a stack of paper and a pencil. But... I don't think that's what this is about anymore. It's about my shitty luck.

     I don't know if my mother was in on this, but if she wasn't, this is just so random. I don't understand how it could be possible that of all the people in the world, she would send me to a  serial killers house. My luck is shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty.

***

     I burst through the doors of Mario's, breathing so hard that my whole chest has gone numb. My bangs cling to my forehead bloodred, which drips with sweat.

     "Christ, Emma! What the hell happened to you?" James asks, completely ignoring the fact that there are at least seven other people in the diner with us.

     "I-" I try to speak, but my words feel funny in my mouth. They're soft and bendy, but I can't get them out right. "I can't-"

     James jogs out from behind the counter and up to the door, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Forget it. Come on."

     He guides me into the back room, sitting me down on a stack of thick takeout boxes. I collapse into the seat, dropping my head into my hands. He doesn't make me speak, he doesn't ask me what happened. He just lets me sit there, holding back tears.

       Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

     I won't! Will you shut up already?

     Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

     "You want some water?" All I can do is nod.

     He hands me a plastic water bottle from the fridge, an ice cold one that I down in about two seconds. The cold on my teeth makes my whole mouth ache, but I suck it up and chug the whole thing without a single breath, crushing the bottle in my hand when I'm done.

     "Wow, you must've been thirsty." James laughs awkwardly, trying to lean on the wall but realizing it's another stack of pizza boxes as it comes tumbling down.

I look from him to the pizza boxes, then back to him again. "No shit, Sherlock."

I know I'm sort of being a bitch right now, but I really do appreciate how kind he's being despite the way he's treated me. I want to say thank you, but I don't know how to word it, so I don't even try.

I wipe my forehead with the back of my hand, tangling my bangs up. I can practically feel the heat radiating off my face. Sweat creeps down the sides of my face and in the crease of my back, making me squirm. It feels like an army of ants are crawling all over my body, and every time I swat them away, there are more to take their place.

James sighs, fumbling with his fingers. "You know, if you wanna talk about what happened, I'll listen." He says. "But you don't have to."

My head snaps up, shooting a glare at him. Don't you dare cry. "I don't need to talk about anything." I snap. "And if I did, I wouldn't talk about it with you."

He doesn't make a snarky comeback, he doesn't seem offended, he just nods. I like that. Nobody ever just nods.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. This is stupid. Don't let her make you cry, you weak bitch.

"I think Blaze is dead." I say, my voice flat. "Black shot her."

There's a silence that comes after where I can physically hear James choking on his own words. I know he's trying not to panic in front of me, but I don't think it's working very well. His eyes well with tears that he forces down, making his voice come out shakey.

"Should- should I call the police? Should I do something?" I shake my head, not even looking at him. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," I say. "She lured me in, made me trust her. She gave me someone who'd listen to me, to make me stay in this shit excuse for a town." I chuck the crumpled bottle across the room, anger spewing over my lips. "And then-" I laugh bitterly, "-and then I found it was all fake. She was only trying to get me to trust her so she could commit an aunt-niece duo murder with Auntie Marlee."

James looks like he wants to believe me, but doesn't know how it's possible. Tears spill over his cheeks in ones, making me want to cry more than ever. She was his best friend, and now she's gone.

The thought of Jess with a bullet hole in her head sends an uncomfortable tingle up my spine; I shake the picture away before it becomes too vivid.

I shook up, kicking a box on the floor. Hard. "God, I just feel so stupid!" I shout, kicking it again. "This is why I don't love people! This is why I don't trust them!" I stomp on the box, trampling it beneath my muddy shoes. With every word, I stomp, and I stomp a little harder every time. "Fuck. Love. Fuck. Trust. Fuck. Blaze."

I stop, breathing hard. I thought that would make me feel better, but it didn't. It made me feel worse.

I turn to look at James, my chest rising and falling fast. He's full on sobbing silently, every hiccup and every tear that falls completely soundless I choose to believe that he's doing it for my sake.

The sight of James like that makes my nose burn the horrible way it does right before I'm about to cry. My head throbs from holding back tears of anger and of self pity, and I don't know how much longer I can keep them in for. Stop. This is nothing. My watery eyes connected with James', my lips curl back and a sob escapes from the depths of my throat. It's not a normal sob either, it's one of pure agony. One I've never heard from myself before.

I fall into James' arms, shaking with every sob that echoes through the back room. I've never felt like this in my life. Not when my dad told me he thought I was an engineer, not when my mother told me I had to come to Black's, not even when Jacqueline Martinez slapped me in the face in eighth grade for absolutely no reason at all. I've never been this angry.

"Listen to me," James gasps between sobs, grabbing my face between his hands, "you always have me to come to, okay? I'll be like your older brother."

I smile weakly, nodding. "Yeah okay."

It would have been a really sweet moment if Blaze didn't have to burst through the door at that moment, standing on one leg and dripping from head to toe in blood.

***

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Hey guys um so I may or may not have started crying while writing this chapter which is kinda sad cause I wrote it and it's not even that good LMAO. Whatever anyway, I'm totally aware I've ruined SCC by making it a thriller, but it's my story and if I want to ruin it I CAN😂

Whelp, despite that, I hope you liked it because I really should be doing my geometry homework but I decided to do this instead because I love writing a lot more than I love math, and I love you guys more than anything. M U A H !

-Shaynaaaaaa