Empathy (Billy Hargrove)

1.8 - BREAKING DOWN THE WALLS

It had been a while since the Johnson girl had driven – she had been in the process of getting her license when her mother had passed – but she picked it right back up with no problem. Billy sat in the passenger seat, surprisingly not hassling her about keeping his "baby" safe. He had sobered up quite a bit, but was still a bit tipsy – which amused Jackie, yet also annoyed her.

"Jaquelineee," he dragged out her full name.

"Don't call me that!" she snapped harshly before softening her tone, "My dad calls me by my full name, so just please.. don't."

Billy turned to her with a serious and dark expression, "Your father.  He's the one that left those marks on you, isn't he?" She felt calloused fingers ghost over her jaw and neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake and a chill running up her spine.

Jackie looked away from the road for a second and into those intense blue eyes. Suddenly uncomfortable and with her her blood boiling, she spat, "You don't know shit, Hargrove." The raven-haired girl immediately felt bad for lashing out at the boy, but didn't have a chance to apologize.

"I don't know shit?" Billy questioned incredulously. He began laughing hysterically, concerning Jackie slightly. "I don't know shit?!  When I look at you, Johnson, I feel like I'm looking in a  goddamn mirror.  You're not the only one with an abusive father, you know." He leaned back into the passenger seat and sighed heavily before rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. Gently this time, he asked, "How long has it been happening to you?"

The raven-haired girl's mouth bobbed open and close like a fish's would. She knew the moment she met the Hargrove boy about a week ago, that he saw past the rumors of her neck being littered with hickies. Shit, he even gave her advice on how to treat her bruises properly. Yet, him knowing the story before she even said anything, when nobody else really knew the truth. Jackie felt exposed, like he could look right into her very soul and see all her secrets – it scared the girl half to death.

A couple block's from her house, the Johnson girl parked the blue Camaro on the side of the street before letting out a shaky breath as she answered Billy's question, "Seven months.  It started after my mother died.  What about for you, Hargrove?" Her hazel eyes met his blue and she saw a flash of pain.

"Nine years," he muttered. Jackie gasped in shock, but let Billy continue. "He abused my mom first.  I'd try to stop him, but I was just a little kid.  After she left, he took all his anger out on me alone.  When he met Susan three years ago, he started hitting me less often, I didn't hear how I was a piece of shit every day.  My stupid adolescent self thought that Susan and his daughter were changing him.  They got married, Susan and Max moved in, and the abuse stopped completely.

"For four months, I actually felt like a normal teenager.  For four whole months, I wasn't afraid to be in my own home.  Then, it happened again.  I saw him starting to do the same thing to my step-mom as he did to my own mom.  I began to act out so his attention would be on me instead of Susan and Max.  We moved here and now I don't have anyone to turn to.  I can't even go surfing to take my mind off of things and this goddamn town has nothing!  And I'm afraid – afraid that I'm going to turn into my own shit father with no outlet for my frustrations," he vented and a single tear escaped from his eye.

"Billy, you are not your father," Jackie tried to soothe him. Taking his face in her small hands, she wiped away the stray tear. Billy's large, rough hands encompassed hers as he fell apart before her.

"I've yelled at Max!  I've yelled at her and knew it was wrong, but did it anyway.  She looks at me with fear now – her and Susan both – they look at me like I'm a monster.  My own mom left without me because she knew I'd be a monster!" A few more tears rolled down Billy's face as he diverted his gaze and tried to pull away from Jackie, but she wasn't having it.