Red Tape

Modern Love and Other Clichés

    Will and Wilma were a very modern couple. The root of this modernity was not so many opposites attract, as ignorance is bliss.
     In fact, they were very aware of the falseness of the binary "opposites". In the couples who swore on everything, from the bible to their grandmother's soul, that they were as different as a man is to a woman, both Will and Wilma often noted all the Rosenthal and Guildenstern similarities.
      The truth is old fashioned love was all about sharing life. You often met at the same job or school, shared the same home, same kids, same dreams and goals.
       They also watched as any misalignment of that common ground was an earthquake for the foundations of such homes and quickly tore them apart. For this reason, they decided not to have children.
       "After all," Wilma texted once to  Will. "You need a license to hunt with a gun or drive a car. I'm not so sure I'd stamp your documents to be a father."
        Will replied with a 👍😂 and continued swiping on his Tinder account.
         For you see the true modernity of their relationship was how little of their lives (and souls) they shared.
          They lived in the same home. A chic apartment, in the ridiculously expensive part of town. Just rarely at the same time. It's not that they never met, but those moments were brief and fleeting. A spark of passion.
          These cascades of frivolity, echoes of laughter, snippets of gossip followed by sessions of ridiculing others were the Rosetta stones that translated this apparent superficiality into a feeling of romance.
          All other communication was virtual - texting, sexting, nude pictures and Amazon wish lists.
          Absence makes the heart grow fonder was their motto. Wilma and Will had fallen in love with an idea of each other and worked hard to ensure that their love inhabited this rose-tinted vision. This is the fluff of romance: avoiding any true self.
           Many of the couples that they spent time with reflected the lifestyle of virtual romance. This was part of the appeal. They were trenders, alphas leading a group of eager little sheep.
           That was until Romeo and Juliet appeared in their social circles and insisted on being old-fashioned and declaring an unrequited love.
           Many people confuse unrequited love as something given but tragically unreturned. They pine for that person; suffering in silence, a scar on the soul that feels tangible.
           It doesn't have to be that way. It can simply be a love that asks for nothing in return. It is puré and dumps no burden on the recipient. It is a love a mother feels for a child or a profound friendship.
            This is what Romeo and Juliet felt for each other.
            When these two stars crossed lovers entered the orbit of Wilma and Will; it was at a wedding of all places! (A marriage of convenience, between a politician who needed to exhume accusations of extreme right-wing leanings and a woman of color).
They reacted like antibodies to disease and plotted to destroy the couple before the idealism infected those around them and true love became the trend to follow.
          As monogamy held no importance for Wilma and Will, they would seduce the couple, conquering the lust of each part in order to divide and destroy the pair.
          The trap was set at a charity ball, the social high point of the year.
          It was a simple matter to separate them, as groups break down into cliks, then genders, given a short period of mingling, so each sex can complain and boast about the other.
           Like lions separating the weak from the rest of the herd, Wilma and Will picked off their prey into one on one small talk.
          Wilma used Romeo's almost child-like innocence against him. She pointed out how little of the world he'd seen and how she could be the gateway to a heady world of hedonistic and debauched experiences. Like many charlatans, she used statistics and probability.
"In a world of billions of souls do you really think there's only one person out there for you?"
Of course, Romeo said Yes but the seed of doubt was cultivated.
          Will discovered Juliet's rabid ambition; her desire for something greater, and presented himself as her means to an end - for a price.
           "Help me, help you," was the seed he left germinating in her mind that night among a litany of buzzwords.
            In a perfect world, Romeo and Juliet would have been immune to temptation and flattery. True love would have conquered all. Will and Wilma knew the world wasn't perfect.
            That was after all, why they choose to live the way they did. They skirted around the imperfections of life by keeping them at arm's length. They made the superficial the most profound part of themselves. They celebrated the profane and in the Case of Romeo and Juliet crashed the sacred underfoot.
            So it was bit by bit, day by day, week by week our modern couple corrupted the old fashioned and pure.
             The very day Romeo and Juliet declared their engagement, lewd photos appeared across the web, revealing their infidelities to the world.
             Some say that the car crash that claimed their lives the Next day, had been a suicide pact to avoid the shame.
             After these events Will and Wilma became ostracised, their flock ignored them. Without followers, they could no longer set trends and faded into obscurity.