Things I Almost Remember: A Selection Story

Scars

"We just passed into Carolina," General Leger shouted to a very sleepy Kate, Johnny, and Connor. Connor and Kate woke up before Johnny, who was sleeping heavily, and Kate realized that, at some point in the night, her head had ended up resting on Johnny's shoulder. She sat up quickly and rubbed her eyes.

"What time is it, General Leger?" she asked with a yawn.

"It is about 6 in the morning, I would estimate we will get to Kota's house in about an hour.

Kate just nodded and placed her forehead against her knees. Even if she were to believe she was Princess Kerttu in some past life, Kota had never been a part of anything she could remember, but the memories of Kerttu's life were murky and episodic rather than something fluid and clear.

"I must be crazy to think this ever will work," Kate muttered under her breath, not realizing Connor could hear her.

"Kate, you are Kerttu you know," Connor whispered.

Kate's eyes went wide. She and Johnny had agreed not to tell Connor about her flashes of memory.

"What do you mean?" she asked. She wanted to ask if Johnny had said something, but she did not want to implicate either of them if he hadn't.

"Johnny didn't say anything to me if that is what you mean, but I know he knows you are. He wouldn't be act like this if you weren't," Connor said, relaxing into a half smile. "Kerttu was his best friend, and he was in love with her for as much as a ten-year-old can be in love. He isn't as serious and thoughtful to everyone as he is with you. Lots of girls we knew around Nieve had a thing for him, and everyone knew he would never give any of them the time of day. They all thought it was a playboy, but I knew it was because he has never gotten over Kerttu."

Kate's eyes widened, both from the revelation about Johnny and the fact that Connor was actually being serious about something to her. The only sign of seriousness she had seen from him before was in regards to Johnny, but in a way, this was very much about Johnny.

"But there is something about Kerttu that Johnny doesn't know, that he never knew," Connor continued, cautiously looking over at her. "It was the real reason I could tell who you really were."

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked skeptically.

"Hold out your left arm," Connor said. "Just trust me."

Kate considered for second and then slowly removed her glove from her left hand and rolled back the sleeve of her coat revealing a long red scar that ran up her inner wrist. 

"See that scar?" Connor asked.

She looked down at it, puzzled with where he was going.

"Yes," she said slowly. "I've always had it."

"How did you get it?" he asked.

She opened her mouth as if to say something but quickly closed it.

Connor sighed and then began to speak.

"There was this great tall oak tree in the gardens of the palace, and in the fall before the attack on the Royal Family, I teased Kerttu that she couldn't climb it. I was just being silly of course. Not even I could climb that high," he said, giving a humorless laugh. "But, Kerttu was fearless, and she had climbed every other tree in the garden. One day when it was just us in the garden, well just us and some guards, she took off and started climbing before I could stop her. I shouted at her to come down, but she thought I was just underestimating her. The branches were really spread out, and before she was too far up, she fell, and on the way down, when she tried to grab onto a branch, her left arm scraped right up against it, and the branch gashed it open."

Kate stared out into empty space in front of her.

"It hurt so badly," she whispered. "The guard came running and was yelling at you for not watching me and encouraging me..."

"But, you lied and said it was all your idea and that I had tried to stop you from climbing it," Connor finished. 

After a moment, he continued.

"I didn't know until one day when I saw the scar up close when we all were eating breakfast back in that tiny apartment," he said. "You just seemed so scared and confused. I know I come off as a bit thoughtless and ridiculous sometimes, but I, like my little brother, do have a serious side. I didn't want to scare you. However, Johnny started acting really different around you, and I just knew he had to have figured it out."

"We were sitting together talking about stories about Kerttu, and I finished one with only a detail she would have remembered, something neither you nor Johnny told me," Kate whispered.

"What are you going to do?" asked Connor.

"About what?" Kate asked.

"Lots of things I suppose: your uncle in France, this general dude, the fact that you're the rightful true heir to the throne of Illéa, the fact that my brother is madly in love with you," Connor said, giving her a mischievous grin.

"He is not," Kate snapped, quickly glancing at Johnny who was still asleep.

"He is, and I don't think it's one-sided," Connor said, still smiling at her.

Kate stared at him and sighed.

"You're completely off-base, but even if you weren't, it doesn't matter anyway, no one like Johnny will want to be with an ex-princess amnesiac," she said, her blue eyes watering.

"Johnny would want to be with you if you were purple, had antlers, and had three eyes," Connor said. "Trust me, he has never looked at any girl the way I have seen him look at you, the way he looks now and the way he looked at you ten years ago."

Kate's breath hitched, and she couldn't bring herself to respond. She stared down at the scar as she felt a new memory wash over her. A memory that felt like someone else's.

"You carried me down to the hospital wing at the palace after I fell, and you ended up with my blood all over your shirt," Kate whispered. "I made you a card for helping me that I gave you."

Connor reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled folded white piece of paper with a crayon-sketched tree and the words "I'm sorry" sketched in glittery pen.

"I always kept it with me," he said. "It was the only way I could remember my little sister, who, until very recently, I thought was dead. She's super irritating and stubborn sometimes, but she also is always looking out for other people. This card reminds me to do the same."

Kate felt tears coming, and she suddenly wrapped Connor in a hug. Though the sudden hug startled him, he quickly returned it. When she pulled back, she gave him a light punch on the shoulder.

"You always underestimated me," she said letting out a laugh. 

Connor was about to respond when General Leger spoke from the front seat.

"Just about 15 more minutes!" he said. "Hope you all are awake back there!"

Just then, Johnny blinked his eyes opened and gave out a big yawn.

"Good," Johnny said. "I can't wait to stretch my feet and get out of this van."

Kate laughed and smiled at him, and he stared back. They sat like that for a few moments before Connor let out a cough.

"I can't wait to get out of this van to get away from you two making eyes at each other," he said. 

Johnny sheepishly averted his gaze from Kate and looked down at his feet sighing. He began to think what a hopeless fool he was when he felt a slightly cold hand touch his. He looked up to see Kate looking at him and smiling. He stared down at her hand upon his. Cautiously, Johnny gently rubbed his thumb in slow circles along her inner wrist. He turned their hands over, and for the first time since he had seen her in Nieve, he saw a red scar running along her arm.