(3) Painstaker

Chapter Nineteen

W A R N I N G

There will be hanky panky going on at the end of this chapter. There is a warning right before so anyone can skip if they please. (You can skip entire section and go right along to the next chapter). 

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"Will you two be okay?" I hovered by the door to Sam and Flower's bedroom. It was bigger than mine with two queen sized beds. Sam was awake when we got back, not too happy either, but we convinced him it would be safer to move him into the bedroom where the doors could be locked. His injuries looked a lot better.

Flower, who had plopped down on the bed closer to me, nodded once. It was so unlike her, how little she spoke since we got out of that room. It wasn't my place to ask, but I couldn't help but wonder what happened to her. What made her so terrified of small spaces. And Sam; when I'd told him what happened, he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around his sister.

"If you need anything, knock on my door." I pointed my thumb behind my shoulder to the room across the hall. My eyes narrowed at the sabre that was tucked close beside Flower. I had a feeling she'd be sleeping with the thing. "Well. Good night. We'll meet in the morning. I don't think we should stay here."

Another nod. I took that as my goodbye and scurried over to my own room. Inside, it was dark and lonely. Self loathing began to overflow. I wanted to drown myself in another shower, but I knew two in one day wouldn't be good for my hair. Instead, I peeled off my clothes, found a silk robe, and tucked myself underneath the comforter.

In the dark, all alone, I was left with nothing but my thoughts. Today was just another slap to the face. It was another reminder that I shouldn't be Beta. A Beta wouldn't have frozen like that. A Beta wouldn't have allowed a pack mate to injure themselves by punching a cement wall. Flower's hands were bandaged up. She refused pain medication.

I gritted my teeth. Even then, my heartbeat was pulsing a thousand times per second. Sleep wouldn't come. Maybe I did need some of that stuff I'd sprayed in Sam's face.

The door creaked open, allowing a sliver of light to pool in and touch the foot of the bed. Since I'd locked it, I knew it could only be Zeke. Well, I hoped it was only Zeke. When the door closed, his scent surrounded me, slightly relaxing my taut jaw.

He didn't speak a word as he rummaged about the room. He didn't speak as he crawled into bed, not touching me.

I hated myself. I didn't admit regularly, but sometimes those thoughts festered. In this moment, with memories of Flower's screams in my brain, I hated myself. I hated how weak I was. How I couldn't do anything right. How my dead brother should be Beta. Not me. Never me.

Rolling over, I did something stupid. I always did stupid things without thinking them through. Still, I faced Zeke and, giving him no time to process my motivation, pressed my lips against his. Hands gripping his shoulders, I realized he wasn't wearing a shirt. In fact, as my leg was thrown over his, I noticed he was only in a pair of boxers.

My tongue probed his lips, slipping in to tangle against his. Zeke hesitated for only a moment before he place his hands on my hips, positioning me on top of him. My hair curtained around us, cutting us off from the rest of the world. Hungry for intimacy, I ground my hips against him again and again until I felt something hard poking against my thigh.

This. I missed this. But it was different than before. His smell, the touch of his skin; it all made it seem as though firecrackers were erupting inside of me. One of my hands ended up tangling in his thick hair, the other planted firmly on his shoulder. Zeke's hands slipped down to cup my ass, squeezing it hard enough to make me groan into his mouth.