To My Lover, Forever Yours, I Fu**ing Hate You

1: Colors

Hi! My names Kayla, I am currently 12 years old. I am kinda sorta in love with someone, but he doesn't know it yet. Today is my first day of the seventh grade. I am ready to finally start being a teenager!  Up until now I have been skeptical of boys and their smelly feet and obnoxious fart jokes. I have never really had interest in them to be honest because of those reasons. But this year, I feel differently.

As a child, remember watching Disney princess movies and seeing how the females always fell for their male counterparts in almost every film! And I always thought how can it be that easy to fall in love so effortlessly.  I on the other hand think love is dumb. Or at least, that's what I thought. I couldn't ever grasp how a boy could turn into a "man" and be so masculine and handsome. Boys in my class I must say are cute, and a few of them just might pass as professional nose pickers. But never have I ever thought they would grow up to be real, endearing and attractive men! Never in a million years! 

So let's get into why I "think" I am in love. There's this boy in my class named Daniel. I've known him since kindergarten. But he was just that random kid you know? Just someone who would either stay in my class forever, or just move away. He was quiet, not really that outgoing. I had said hi to him a few times, and I had asked him to play with me, but he would just awkwardly walk away without responding. After awhile I thought maybe he was deaf or mute. I eventually found out this wasn't true in the third grade when he yelled at another boy for taking his things and making fun of him. That very same day I sat by him at lunch and actually kinda talked to him. And every day after that. We eventually became best friends.  We were so close, new kids would assume we were siblings.

Fast forward to today, August twenty-third, 2012. I am in the seventh grade, it's my first day, and I think I am going to tell Daniel how I feel about him.

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As a child, I used colors to express how I felt about things. Red of course meant love, blue-bitterness, yellow- dislike, and pink for something I liked. I used this system because I thought it was unique. I would color certain pictures one whole color for the longest time depending on how I felt toward it. My mom was a culinary professor, and every time she made a new dish, I would be her taste tester. She would give me a plate of food, and cards that had been colored as I had previously explained. I would eat how little, or how much I wanted, then I would pick a card and place it under the dish for her to find when I finished. If I didn't like something, she would ask me how she could improve it. I would of course state the obvious saying it was either bland or salty. But me disliking her food was an extremely rare occasion. 

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I waited until after lunch to confront him with my feelings. He was sitting by himself as usual, waiting for me to join him. As I walked closer I could see that he was crying. " Whats wrong?" I asked in my most sincere voice, he replied with " My dog just passed away." And with that being said I plopped down next to him and took him into my arms. Embracing him with every bit of myself as possible. He was now crying hysterically, into my shoulder. I could feel my shirt getting wet from his tears. I can understand completely as to why he was crying like that though. This dog wasn't just any old dog. No, it was his real  friend. It was there for him when no one else was even before I became a part of his life. On his bad days at school he would always go home to his ole fido and hug him and sob because he felt worthless and lonely. Like he was never good enough. 

After lunch I walked with him to the office so he could call his mother. He had pulled an " I don't feel good", card. Which I mean in all actuality it was, but for another reason. He ended up leaving early and stayed gone for the rest of the week. So, on Friday, I went to go check on him after school.

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