𝐓𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝: 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐚𝐨

16

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• Please listen to "I can't make you love me" by Dave Thomas Junior while reading •

Junhui walked down the sidewalk, embers of the streetlights guiding him along through his dark surroundings. He felt like a mess, and he looked like one too. His hair was tatted from gripping at it, lips bleeding from biting them, eyes bloodshot and tear filled-

Jun felt like he had been crying forever. Yes, no more tears were actually falling; it seemed his eyes had given up due to the prolonged sadness. Still, the male couldn't shake the feeling that he was crying. The oh so familiar lump in his throat remained in place, making it near impossible for him to speak

And yet, even if he could speak, who would he talk too? There were no people out on the streets that night. He had no friends he could call, he had burned that bridge with his confession he had made a few hours ago. Not to mention whatever was left of his fucked up family were in a different country

How?

How did he let things get so bad? He had worked so hard to get away from the mess of his past life, and he thought he had been successful. His father had been a screw up his whole life, and you know what they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. It was foolish to think his life could be anything different

Junhui felt his legs burning, he had been aimlessly wandering since leaving the dorms. Having nowhere to go, the male decided upon an open alleyway not too far from where he stood. Stumbling his way over, Jun leaned against the brick wall, slumping down as he sat with his head in his knees

"Turn down the lights, turn down the bed-"

Jun began singing, his voice hoarse from the battery of sobs it had withstood,

"Turn down these voices inside my head."

The male swiped a hand across his face, wiping the residue of tears from his cheeks,

"Come lay with me, tell me no lies.
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Don't patronize me."

Junhui paused, eyes drifting towards the stars above him,

"Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't.
I can't make your heart feel
something it won't."

The street was silent, the only sound was that of his voice, echoing off of the walls of the buildings next to him,

"Here in the dark,
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
and I'll feel the power."

The boy choked out one final sob, the words of the song struggling to leave his mouth,

"But you won't,
no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me,
if you don't."

Junhui stared at the stars, vision becoming blurry as his tear ducts began to work once more. He wanted so badly for Minghao to love him back, but he knew the boy never would. All he could do was move on; but that was much harder than anyone could make it out to be

Instead he would rather close his eyes, that way he couldn't see the love that's not there. Jun had lost so many people after they found out who he was, so why did he thing Minghao would be any different? Why had he had such a hope, a feeling that it would work out? He could never have anyone stay, they all just left once they-

Ding!

Junhui jumped, eyes widening as he placed a hand over his racing heart. He had forgotten that he had his phone with him. After taking some time to calm down, the brown haired males fingers found their way to his coat pocket, grabbing the device and taking it out

Hands shaking, Jun turned on his phone. He squinted, turning away. He wasn't used to the brightness of the screen after having been in the dark for so long. Blinking, his eyes readjusted, focusing on the words of the message that had popped up

Five new messages from My Butterfly 🦋

Junhui felt his heart drop, scrambling to see the text. He was so desperate, fingers fumbling moving at light speed as he put in his password. Unlocking his phone, the male quickly went to his contacts, opening up that which was Minghao's

My Butterfly 🦋:
Junnie
I'm so worried
Where are you?!
Please
Can you call me?

Junhui processed the words, fighting a battle inside his head. He knew he had to let Minghao go, he couldn't risk hurting the boy of whom he loves so much. Still, he couldn't just give him up either,

Could he?

No fucking way

Jun:
I can't let you worry, now can I?

•••

Calling My Butterfly 🦋

•••

Junhui's hands shook as he held the phone next to his ear, his heart beating faster with every ring he heard. This was a mistake, he should hand up. This would only make things worse. He would hurt his-

"Junhui? Junnie? Are you there?"

"B-baobei."

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Man this book hasn't seen the light of day in agessss!
I don't no when I'll update again.
I hope you are all doing well, and are happy and healthy <3
Stay safe everyone!! Love you all~
See you in another few months lmaoooo
- peachyoonji